Part two of my detailed and in-depth travel diary. Today I saw some slippers with built in LED lights for night time walking.

These, as I see it, are the future of the slipper. The promotional material says that they are ‘ideal for those late night bathroom visits’, but I’d say the possibilities are endless. Undertaking nocturnal obstacle courses, reading a book by slipperlight, apprehending any night time criminals making their approach crawling along on the carpet, the list goes on.

Please use the comment section below to put forth your opinion as to the merits of slippers with headlights. Please respect those with opposing views as I can see this being a contentious topic.

Posted by Dave at 6:57 pm on February 20, 2011 and filed under Photographs, Utter nonsense.

19 Comments

This is another drawing scanned from my 2011 notebook. I didn’t do it on the train owing to peer pressure (pressure from people peering).

So, men and women. Last time I talked about them was in 2007 (Blog post: Segregating the sinful sexes). In that post I said I wasn’t a fan of separate groups in a church for men and women. I still am not a fan of such things, but I like to review my opinions every 3.3 years, so this is that time.

I’m still of the opinion that splitting people up by sex says something about a church and it isn’t a good thing. But then again I know people who find their church group for men or for ladies very helpful so who am I to deny them? Perhaps it is important for men to have other friends who are men and for women to have other friends who are women and such groups encourage such a thing in a good way.

There’s all sorts of other things I could write about this, but I mustn’t or I’ll get myself into a pickle. If you’ve noticed I never say anything online any more for that same aforementioned reason. There’s nothing worse than getting into a pickle.

Posted by Dave at 11:12 pm on January 12, 2011 and filed under Cartoons, Utter nonsense.

40 Comments

I think that the online world tends to cope better with happiness than sadness. This is a generalisation of course, and generalisations are usually wrong. That said people will rally round on your Facebook page during times of trial, so perhaps it depends more on the nature of your happiness or sadness. The same is true of the church. Loneliness or depression, for instance, do not tend to attract as much sympathy as something involving an impressive bandage.

The causes of online absences are notoriously difficult to diagnose. It could be that your friend who has not been seen on Twitter for a week is desperately unhappy, or it could just be that they have forgotten their password or that the wire has come out of the back of their computer. Sadly the likelihood is that few people will notice, as there is always someone else posting something interesting.

They could, of course, have realised that nothing beats face to face contact with an actual human being who is in the same room. But that said, some of these people could have been ones they met through a shared interest in being on the internet.

What I’m trying to say, in essence, is that the world of online computing is both terribly good and terribly bad. I realise that this is not a clear and coherent statement of belief, which is why I have never been asked to play any significant role in devising creeds for any of the world religions.

ENDS

Posted by Dave at 6:59 pm on November 26, 2010 and filed under Cartoons, Profound, Utter nonsense.

6 Comments

This blog post does not merit being called anything.

I was out and about in the neighbourhood, scouring the empty shopping trolleys for completed cartoons that I could post on my blog or send to ecclesiastical newspapers. Once again I found nothing, so this will have to do:

This note was discarded, one assumes, by a chef purchasing essentials for some of the local delicacies. Note ‘Sasuages’, which are a form of sausages, but posher.

Questions for study groups
1) What did the author intend to write for item 6, before deciding upon ‘drinks’?
2) That’s an awfully thick pen for a shopping list, don’t you think?
3) Spend some time wandering off the topic for a bit.

Posted by Dave at 7:07 pm on November 7, 2010 and filed under Mundane, Utter nonsense, shopping lists.

15 Comments

It has been quite a weekend. First of all on Friday evening the Christian Blog (and other internet things) Awards, where I was awarded a ‘joint second best Christian blog’ certificate, with which I am very happy. I have to say that it was a rather impossible category to judge given the very different nature and purposes of the finalists’ blogs, all of which are good in their own ways. Congratulations to Jenny Baker of the Sophia Network who was the blogging winner.

Then yesterday to the internet conference, where I mingled with interesting people, gained inspiration of various kinds, chatted with friends and went to the pub. I’ll perhaps post some reflections about things I learnt through the mediums of rambling and diagrams at some future point.

Back to the awards: I’d like to say thank you to all readers for the 110% efforts that you have been putting in over the last six weeks. But now that we’re not trying to win an award I think it is time to declare an ‘era of slackness’, where the following are permitted:

• Ill thought out-comments, perhaps with occasional lapses in grammar and spelling
• The posting of comments whilst wearing gardening attire or a ratty old bathrobe (thanks Anne for the latter suggestion)
• Content that doesn’t really mention Christianity
• Whilst I, as blogger, pledge to continue to post regularly, occasional lapses in quality will be permitted. For instance, I may post shopping lists found in my supermarket trolley for collective analysis.

Shopping list found in my supermarket trolley
This has been posted for collective analysis.

Questions for study groups
What is ‘cross’
The apple puree. For a child, or pork?
The list writer. Male or female?

Yes, I do deliberately choose shopping trolleys that have other people’s shopping lists left in them.

Posted by Dave at 8:16 pm on October 17, 2010 and filed under Blogging, Utter nonsense, shopping lists.

26 Comments

Being as it’s Saturday and noone is reading I thought I’d publish some of the letters I get that, for one reason or another, don’t make it into the comments pages of this blog.

Althea:
Thankyou lots, I am obliged to announce that your blog is excellent!

Thank you Althea. I’m sure your blog is excellent too!

Hearst:
Hi There, I just spent a little time reading through your posts, which I found entirely by mistake whilst researching one of my projects. Please continue to write more because it’s unusual that someone has something interesting to say about this. Will be waiting for more!

Hearst – bless you! I’m glad that I was able to help you whilst you were looking for information for your archdeacon project. You’re right – the amount of really dull stuff out there on the subject of archdeacons is incredible. As soon as I write another interesting archdeacon post I’ll make sure you’re the first to hear about it.

Kerry:
The content on this publish is really a single of the very best material that We have ever are available across. I love your publish, I’ll occur back to verify for new posts.

Oh Kerry, you have quite a way with words. I’ll watch out for your reoccurrence the next time I make a publish.

Ezekiel Malinky:
Precisely saying thanks won’t just be enough, for your unparalleled lucidity in your own authoring.

Ezekiel – brilliant! I couldn’t have said it better.

Minerva:
When i was simply reasoning that there are a lot improperly stuff on that theme and yourself basically altered my personal attitude.

Minerva – I know! The improperly stuff on reversible knees irritates me too. But it is good to hear that my blogging has made such a difference in your life.

Toshiko:
Hello! Is it okay if I go a bit off topic? …

No.

Posted by Dave at 12:13 pm on October 9, 2010 and filed under Blogging, Mundane, Utter nonsense.

9 Comments

These are the waterproof trousers I’m considering for my thrice-weekly commute into the heart of industrial Basildon.

My main question is whether I need the articulated knees. I think I probably need them for the extra movement, but any advice welcomed.

Yes, that is it. I call that a blog post. Good thing it’s Wednesday evening and no-one is reading.

Posted by Dave at 9:47 pm on October 6, 2010 and filed under Utter nonsense.

17 Comments

1) Mowing. It all costs money.
2) Safety, especially in heavily grassed neighbourhoods.
3) Watering concerns. Screen-wash can’t be good for it. And who will water it when we’re away?
4) Animals and the things they do on lawns.
5) Keeping the edges trimmed. I’ve never been good with those lawn-edge-trimming shears. Over-zealous use means lawn gets smaller and smaller until there’s nothing left.
6) Dealing appropriately with requests for sporting fixtures.
7) Mockery.

[Picture from the Essex Country Show, where rural crafts and pursuits like this are showcased.]

#iknow #thisisrubbish #buttheJudgesmightlikeit

Posted by Dave at 8:23 am on September 20, 2010 and filed under Photographs, Utter nonsense.

3 Comments

It has just emerged (or may have emerged some time ago) that someone got into what could possibly have been a disagreement with someone else. It might not have been a disagreement as such, but it might have been. It could have been more a lack of agreement, although I’m not saying that that was the case. It was, as I understand it, over something that was said, or done, or perhaps said and done. Some people may have said that it was more about what was said, and I’ve heard it said that others have maintained that it was more about what was done. I’m not saying that anything was said, or that anyone was done, but then I’m not saying that nothing was said, or that nothing was done. If it was I may or may not have known the full facts, and even if I did know them they were only the facts as I understood them.

The incident (not that I’d call it that), occurred some time ago, although not that long ago. It depends what sort of time scale you are looking at. I’m not trying to make out that it was a recent occurrence, but it may not have been more than a number of months or years ago.

Some bloggers may or may not have written about it, although I’m not suggesting you should read their articles. Also there may have been news stories, which you may choose to read should you wish to do so (not that I’m saying there have been any). The people writing about it may have got their information right, or they may have got it wrong, and you should bear that in mind if you choose to read them, although I’m not for one moment suggesting that you should do such a thing.

I’ve tried to tell you as much as I can but for certain reasons I may have needed to keep some of the details vague. Writing in a more specific way could possibly have caused some problems, although I’m not saying that there is any reason for thinking that it would cause any problems.

ENDS

Posted by Dave at 10:53 pm on July 29, 2010 and filed under Utter nonsense.

14 Comments

When I walk through the valley of the shadow of the dearth of cartoon inspiration (sorry…) I sometimes need a little encouragement to lift my spirits. Fortunately such a boost occurred yesterday, when I was described by the Telegraph’s Blog Editor Damian Thompson as “the world’s worst cartoonist”. Had he described me as “a mediocre cartoonist” or “a cartoonist of comparatively little merit” it would have stung somewhat, but “the world’s worst cartoonist” is something worthy of being embossed on a plastic keyring, or, as I shall do in due course, written proudly on a blog ‘about’ page, particularly when it comes from such a source.

So how did such an accolade come to be awarded? To quote Damian Thompson’s Twitter message in full:

I have incurred the particular wrath of the world’s worst cartoonist, @davewalker, who jottings decorate the Church Times.

The description of “wrath” was not terribly accurate, but I think he was a little bit cross about a Twitter post of mine.

Please RT: Never supported @earthhour before, but planning to do so just to irritate @holysmoke http://www.earthhour.org/

This was in response to Damian’s post on his Telegraph blog in which he attempted to encourage people to waste as much electricity as they can by turning on all of the lights in their houses during ‘Earth Hour’, a symbolic campaign encouraging people to consider using less electricity. You can read the post in question here: Switch ON your lights for ‘Earth Hour’, 8.30pm, March 27. I think that the fact that my message had been “retweeted” by quite a number of people was the ultimate cause of the grumpiness and grand pronouncement.

Damian Thompson is regarded as something of a figure of fun within Anglican circles. He is one of those people who is unwittingly an evangelist for those things he tries so hard to oppose (Liberals, people who care about the environment, the Catholic bishops of England and Wales, Ruth Gledhill, etc etc) owing to the way he tries to make his points. You don’t need me to tell you why – reading his blog will make it evident very quickly. As I said to someone yesterday, if I’m ever in doubt about what I think on an issue I just look up Damian Thompson’s opinion and know I should think the opposite.

Anyway, all most enjoyable, and something that has given me a little bit of a boost during a busy deadline week. Talking of which, I must get back to it. Please excuse a scarcity of blog posts over the next seven days or so.

Posted by Dave at 11:42 am on March 23, 2010 and filed under Blogging, Sundry posts, Utter nonsense.

26 Comments

I was searching online for a small bicycle thingummy-whathaveyou, and came across this on a bicycle shop website: Workshop sweepings approx 250g bag (£4.99). It is described thus:

A 1/2lb (approx) mixed bag of nuts, bolts, washers and other bits that have fallen onto our workshop floor during bike builds/repairs.

I was wondering whether there might be any scope for selling bags of my studio sweepings. A typical bag might contain:

• Eraser dust
• Pencil sharpenings
• Cat hair
• Discarded post-it notes
• Scrap paper with scribbles on it
• Very small denominations of useless currency
• The occasional apple core
• Clothes hangers (they seem to get everywhere)

If there is a demand I will start to bag it up into 250gram portions. It might take a while for me to get 250 grams-worth together (unless apple cores feature heavily) so an orderly queue might have to be formed.

The idea might catch on of course, and others of you might start to bag up 250g packs of your sweepings. We could swap them between ourselves and try to get a whole set. There would be websites, magazines, conventions etc.

If you think this is a rubbish idea do say.

Posted by Dave at 7:34 pm on March 15, 2009 and filed under Sundry posts, Utter nonsense.

8 Comments

I have received an e-mail asking for a quote for a Church lectern / podium:

Good Morning,
I am Rev,Ben Johnson and i contact to know if you sell Lecterns/Podiums….Can you get me a quote for the specifications below

Podiums:
(7) pieces
Acrylic &Aluminum Podiums.
Podiums
large 23 5/8″W x 19 7/8″D
Clear Z-Shaped Podium
Acrylic Lecterns
3/4” thick

what would be the total cost plus tax.Advice the method of payment you accept.Hope to hear from you soon.Have a nice day…

Rev,Ben Johnson

I’ve had e-mails asking for information about lecterns and pulpits before – see Cartoon Blog: Various pulpit news.

As I have been given full particulars including dimensions and materials I will, if time allows, go out to the garage this afternoon and construct the requested items using my saw. If anyone else would like a podium or lectern let me know and I will knock together a couple more while I’m at it.

Posted by Dave at 12:16 pm on March 13, 2009 and filed under Utter nonsense.

14 Comments