Warning: If you have no interest in Twitter, the well known internet timewasting service, and Christianity, the well known religion, you will find this post dull and an utter irrelevance.

The Twurch of England is the Church of England on Twitter. The bishops, the clergy, and the… hang on… it’s only the bishops and the clergy! The laity (ordinary people) are nowhere to be found. This is an unjust state of affairs which sends out the message that the ordinary people are not as important as the bishops and clergy. Being mildly deeply upset about this I started a ‘Reform the Twurch’ campaign yesterday – you can read all of the tweets on the subject via the hashtag #reformthetwurch. It was great fun and a most creative protest. Proceedings were conducted calmly and peacefully, and from time to time nuns came out and brought us tea.

Of course there are other Anglicans not in the CofE, and other denominations of Christians who are also not a part of this group. I certainly think it would be good to include these people, although I understand that the ‘Twurch of England’ may not be the most appropriate banner under which to gather them. Perhaps there needs to be an ‘Anglican Twits’ (Anglicans who aren’t CofE) group, and one for ‘UK Twistians’ (UK Christians whether they are Anglican or not). I suspect forming a ‘World Christians’ group might be rather more time consuming.

My challenges to Twurch administrators (The Church Moose and Peter O) are as follows:

1) First of all I think you really need to include CofE laity if you are to go on calling it the Twurch of England. It’s OK, there aren’t many of us and we’re declining in number all the time.
2) Secondly, I understand that you may want to restrict membership of the Twurch of England to members of the Church of England. However, if you don’t find a way to include the wider groups of people (Anglicans, UK Christians) in some way I suspect someone else will. There is an opportunity for a creative individual to form the Anglican Twitter community or the Christian Twitter community, and sooner or later someone will do so.

The picture above has nothing to do with this post by the way. I just didn’t have anything else to put in.

Now… stop trying to distract me – I’ve got work to do. My big important project went a bit better yesterday, for which I am thankful.

There has been a greater-than-average reaction to my What the bishops were doing whilst civil partnerships in church were being voted on cartoon (extract above) on the Church Times blog. By ‘greater than average’ I just mean that there has been one, as an average reaction is for there to be no reaction. See Thinking Anglicans for one place there has been comments.

I have minor regrets about this cartoon as it has given the ‘I hate bishops – they can do nothing right’ brigade who loiter on Anglican blogs something to jump up and down about.

On the other hand blogger Matt Wardman says: “Sorry, Dave – not as well judged as usual in my view”. To blogger Matt Wardman I say that normally I do not knowingly judge things that well, I just draw the first thing that comes into my head. Also I am asking a question about the activities of the bishops and was not prejudging the answer to that question. I am perfectly prepared to accept that they had more important things to be doing if that turns out to be the case. Bishop David Walker, whom I have great respect for (not least because he is my namesake and has done much to make the wearing of sandals acceptable in polite society), says that “most bishops are relaxed about the Ali amendment” and I can understand why that might be the case.

PS. I bet some idiot will try to register pectoralcrosses4u.com.

Also has anyone ever actually met Dave Walker, in his photos he looks tall and thin…is he? There is a reason for my asking.

I have been trying to work out what these reasons might be. Either the chaplaincy students are planning to knit me a jumper, or the Diocese of Winchester are seeking information about me for a soon-to-be-released photo fit ‘wanted’ poster after my Church Times Blog posts (1,2,3) about the fact they are ceasing to fund Simon’s post. This will mean that unless other initiatives are taken (which they are being) Southampton University will more or less the only university in the UK to be un-pastorally*-cared-for by the Anglicans. Read the whole saga on Simon’s blog and if you want to support his cause join the Facebook group from where news is being posted.

Back to what I look like: So far responses on Simon’s blog suggest that I am “grey-looking and two-dimensional” or, by the Mad Priest: “Dave Walker looks like a geek from a Hollywood teen movie.”

In order to lay these allegations to rest I submit a recent self portrait that proves I am indeed tall and thin:

Whilst I’m here: Thanks for not giving up on this blog. I haven’t been writing it for several reasons. Partly because I’m currently in a continual state of being behind schedule with my diagrams and I’m convinced that the people to whom I owe the work will be continually scanning the internet to see that I’m not frittering my time away. My time therefore needs to be frittered away in other less public ways. There are other reasons too. But I need to remind myself that i do actually quite enjoy writing here, so I will endeavour to post a bit more, starting, I think, with a calendar giveaway in the next day or two.

*Probably not a valid phrase

I’ve been having some good ‘Anglican goings-on’ times at General Synod in London over the last couple of days. I’ve been blogging and posting a few cartoons on my Church Times blog and Twittering every now and then. Hopefully a couple more cartoons will follow tomorrow.

Do say hello if you’re there and see me around. I can be contacted via the usual mobile number or CartoonChurch number, 07806 334077.

This afternoon I had the opportunity to present a cartoon canvas to the Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams. The cartoon is ‘the parish system‘. The Archbishop has visited my cartoon tent on several occasions over the course of the Lambeth Conference and this was one picture that he had enjoyed.

As you may have picked up I am a great fan of the Archbishop, so to be given this chance was a highlight of what has already been for me a really quite overwhelming conference. The handing over of the canvas was originally planned for 14.30 in the cartoon tent, but in light of the Archbishop’s time commitments today the venue was moved to his flat / office and the time to 16.50. My wife and one of the official conference photographers came with me. The picture makes it look as if part of the image is missing, but that is just the sunlight shining behind the canvas.

Tomorrow is the final plenary session followed by a service in Canterbury Cathedral. I go home on Monday.

If you’re interested in my writings about Anglican goings-on you can tune in via the Church Times blog. There should be some new cartoon material posted there in the coming weeks too.

From the latest issue: Cartoonist’s role at meeting of bishops a bit sketchy.

Don’t worry – I’m not going to write something here every time I make a Church Times post. But I might sometimes say something here when I’ve drawn a new cartoon, especially during these first few weeks whilst there are people wandering aimlessly up and down the corridors trying to work out where my cartoons are and which room they are supposed to be after the coffee break.

From the Gafcon site:

Participants will include bishops and their wives, key clergy and laity

I wonder how many of each the bishops are allowed to bring.

From the Gafcon brochure (pdf):

When those who are invited indicate their acceptance to the Primate, or lead Bishop, they will be issued with a unique “pilgrim number”.

If anyone reading has a pilgrim number please write in. I will give a prize to anyone who can prove that their number is in single digits.

I had a great time at General Synod on Wednesday. Apart from meeting various people it was absolutely fascinating just to watch the general goings-on. I was there as a guest of a future client, and whilst I wasn’t directly doing any drawing I did make plenty of notes. The diagram above is a raw sketch (unlike my normal highly-polished diagrams).

One of the excitements of this particular Synod was the introduction of new electronic voting devices which I imagine are a bit like the ones they use on ‘Who wants to be a millionaire’ and other such shows. On Monday the Synod was given training and some practice votes were held. Alastair Cutting, whose Synod blog has lots of synodical happenings, has blogged about it:

A practise vote was set up on Monday – a ‘vote of the whole house’ that ‘This synod ask the Business Committee to acknowledge Valentine’s Day’ was passed by a significant majority of the whole Synod.

However a following motion, a ‘vote by houses’, that ‘Valentine’s Day be celebrated by each bishop buying chocolates for their diocesan representatives at Synod’, was passed by both of the lower houses, but the House of Bishops voted it down. Because ‘votes by houses’ require a majority in each house to be passed, it meant that bishops were let off the hook from buying their diocesan representatives chocolate for Valentine’s Day. But, woe betide any bishops who do not…!

Meanwhile, whilst I was observing I wa also being observed. Peter Ould, who was watching my every involuntary movement:

Finally, a big thank you to Dave Walker, who (even if you didn’t realise it) entertained me by being sat across the gallery from me and moving his head in slight motions every so often. I know you’re concentrating hard on cartoons and the like Dave, but you ain’t half amusing when you get a good idea!!!

Thanks Peter. I had no idea I did that, but now when I need an idea I will move my head in slight motions and see what happens.