Back to work

26 Responses to “Back to work”

1. Elizabeth Hanna says:
   

   Monday morning at the Rectory … sleepy head … sermon bits … coffee …. laundry … dog collars …coffee … dog (real dog) …. breakfast … coffee …. vacuum-ing …. coffee … visiting list … next week’s sermon … coffee … e-mail … Facebook … twitter … coffee … mail arrives … water plants … view long grass … coffee …

   June 6th, 2011 at 9:08 am
2. moog says:
   

   Hi Dave, have you ever created a cartoon to explain church architecture. As a non conformist who worships in a chapel i am always confused by such terms as knave, chancel and apse. I am familiar with door, pew, pulpit and the 2 inch step that leads up to the communion rail. I expect that this would also be useful for those free church members who worship in large cavernous warehouses who are only familiar with the steel beam and the curtain drapes.
   thanks

   June 6th, 2011 at 9:14 am
3. Emy Benjamins says:
   

   We had another baptismservice yesterday, one of those where I wanted to kick several members of both baptism parties out of church.

   video taking in church:
   the one family had one of the godfathers with a videocamera. The whole service, including, the baptism itself was filmed. FROM the pew where the other child and parents were sitting.
   Under the baptism this man stood so near the font, that the brothers of baby were pushed out of the way and couldn’t come near. (this ended inn an intervention from my side….)

   the problem with yesterdays baptistparty 2 was the sniggering aunt. Right under the pulpit, she mananged to laugh both softly and loudly during most of my (not so funny sermon)
   She was clearly thinking of something else… question …. what was she thinking….

   I had a dad in a baptism a couple of years ago with a video camera, fortunately the mum was there to take the baptismal promises, because dad was too occupied with filming baby, priest and water….
   well at least he caught it on camera, so he could see it at home..

   June 6th, 2011 at 9:28 am
4. Sarah B says:
   

   How about these random foolish things that have popped into my head:
   “After the Wedding Project the church explored some new ideas… the X Project etc.”
   something to do with Church Archaeologists
   a response to the increasing age demographic retraining of youthworkers as pensioner workers
   ways to make the parish magazine more exciting
   church fetes are in season – fresh expression versions?
   models of the trinity?
   ok inspiration exhausted!

   June 6th, 2011 at 9:28 am
5. Rachel says:
   

   Welcome back! Is there any mileage in a series on how people’s holiday destinations impact on their behaviour in church? The new ideas, music, food, clothes etc we bring back.

   June 6th, 2011 at 9:49 am
6. Janis Adam says:
   

   Recognising different denominations outside of their chuch/chapel but in another?

   Thanks – do enjoy the cartoons

   June 6th, 2011 at 11:00 am
7. Farli says:
   

   Have you seen the Continuing Ministerial Development brochure for Bishops? There must be some ideas in there. I was particularly intrigued by the session based on what the bishops can learn from the West Wing.
   

   June 6th, 2011 at 12:01 pm
8. jan ashton says:
   

   We’re stuck for ways of celebrating Trinity Sunday in our church. Any ideas?

   June 6th, 2011 at 12:05 pm
9. chris clark says:
   

   I think a diagram explaining the major theological disputes

   East West
   Protestant Catholic
   Apple PC

   June 6th, 2011 at 12:08 pm
10. alison says:
    

    Reading the posts about baptism and weddings, why not do something on the ‘occasional offices’- although I suppose there isn’t much comic mileage in funerals. Perhaps it could be how modern life has impacted these services – like the excessive video-ing/mobile phone use that tends to go on and the fact that often many of the people who attend don’t know and don’t make any attempt to sing the hymns. Maybe you could do a ‘compare and contrast’ with days gone by when everyone was modestly dressed and knew the words to everything. Or maybe how these services are conducted in the different denominations eg: evangelical, high church etc. Or such services through the ages of the church, imagining how they might have been done in the early church up to the modern day. Or you could jump on the ‘Big Fat Wedding’ bandwagon and do ‘My Big Fat Anglican Wedding/Christening/Funeral.
    Can’t think of anything else!
    Glad you had a nice holiday.

    June 6th, 2011 at 1:51 pm
11. Dave says:
    

    Just to say how much I appreciate these replies – thank you.

    Dave

    June 6th, 2011 at 2:01 pm
12. Ann says:
    

    Don’t suppose you can do the CoE “leaks”

    June 6th, 2011 at 2:26 pm
13. Liz from the sewing room says:
    

    Our church has something called a Narthex.

    On the whole our baptism parties are pleasant and behave appropriately. however, sometimes the odd person sneaks outside for a fag! And some years ago in another church someone actually lit up during the service.

    June 6th, 2011 at 2:32 pm
14. Richard says:
    

    Something on Bishops’ pectoral crosses, and what they say about their wearers?

    (Once spoke to +Graham Dow while he was wearing what he described as his “party cross”…)

    June 6th, 2011 at 2:53 pm
15. Richard says:
    

    An interregnum. The vicar has gone. Someone needs to be brought in to cover the services. But who?

    Various very-retired clergy, wheeled from the nursing home, still in their bed? The Inappropriate Curate from the neighbouring parish? The diocesan circus ministry advisor?

    June 6th, 2011 at 3:04 pm
16. Richard says:
    

    It’s interregnum-time (where do you think all these ideas are coming from?). How does the appointments process work? The different mental images of the ideal candidate in the various minds of the patron, the Bishop, the Churchwardens and the people-in-the-pews.

    June 6th, 2011 at 3:06 pm
17. RuralVicarJames says:
    

    Having just returned from collecting a daughter’s furniture etc from University I now have time to offer a few ideas! In Rural Hampshire, June is the month for Fetes,Country Fayres and Village Shows (and what are their different characteristics?). As the Vicar, I am expected to be at, and support, and run stalls, sometimes to ‘officially open’, the events. At these events, I always imagine a ‘Where’s Wally’ view of the scene but, of course, substituting the stripey shirted Wally with the dog-collared Vicar.

    With Half Term over it is back to the weekly assemblies at schools (I ought to call it Collective Worship but only the Diocese and Ofsted know why).

    It is also time for another round of PCC Meetings – with 4 parishes they come round quite often and usually ‘bunch’ together in the calendar.

    Time now also to recover from a holiday spent at home in the Vicarage – gardening and car washing if my memory serves me right. Gardening always seems to be a dangerous occupation for Vicars. If it is seen to be done by the Vicar – he/she should be out visiting rather than looking after their garden. If the garden runs riot then the Vicar should be more responsible and take care of the Parish’s garden.

    enough for now…

    June 6th, 2011 at 3:30 pm
18. RuralVicarJames says:
    

    I think Alison (Post 10) has happily missed the comic mileage in funerals. The sad members of clergy often relate them to each other (when 2 or 3 clergy gather together they shall relate a funeral story). Funnier moments (for some) include: inappropriate music (eg ‘Smoke gets in your eyes’ at a service in the Crematorium); argued over seating plans in church (exacerbated by second and third marriages). One of the better parts of being in a rural setting is that mobile phones do not interrupt services – there is no reception…

    June 6th, 2011 at 3:36 pm
19. Maddy says:
    

    How about parishioners being invited to check their electronics at the door on arrival to reduce distractions.

    June 6th, 2011 at 5:05 pm
20. christopher says:
    

    Going to Kings Head (which I assume is a pub) versus going to Church.

    June 6th, 2011 at 7:55 pm
21. hopeeternal says:
    

    Prompted by your picture, what is it about vicars who go misty eyed when given the prospect of visiting a steam railway (speaking from experience as married to one) …

    Life and times of the church and/or vicarage cat …?

    hopeeternal

    June 6th, 2011 at 9:39 pm
22. RuralVicarJames says:
    

    Christopher (post 20) reminds me that opposite this Vicar’s Study Window is the ‘Kings Arms’ – it always sounds quite good to be ‘resting in the Kings Arms’…plus my cordless desk phone works from next to the bar (but still no mobile phone reception).

    June 6th, 2011 at 11:07 pm
23. Russ says:
    

    6 unusual ways to use your dog collar

    identifying churchmanship by after-service biscuits

    which savoury snacks are the most biblical?

    when Powerpoint goes horribly wrong

    “Nurse, the screens!” Or: the thankless job of the techie operating the song words/notices/sermon slides

    Curate’s pets: ecclesiastical parrots etc

    June 7th, 2011 at 10:00 am
24. Sara from the library says:
    

    Re the ideas at (10): I just like the idea of an occasional office being a bit like an occasional table, sometimes it’s there and sometimes it isn’t. I have the same problem with a gradual hymn, in that I know what it means but that isn’t what my head tells me it is and doesn’t stop me wanting a rapid hymn to follow.

    June 7th, 2011 at 10:52 am
25. Dave says:
    

    More great ideas – thanks everyone. I will be doing some jottings in my note book(s).

    June 8th, 2011 at 7:59 am
26. Phil H says:
    

    Since you’ve done your pew’s view, maybe:
    . People who have sat in my pew
    . What the vicar sees – her view at each service
    . Job hunting for curates (my Grandad got his gigs by watching the obituaries)
    . Jesus’ first table
    . Bring & share lunches: a field guide
    . Who was really there at the first crib scene
    . Smells and bells for shillings and pence: high church on the cheap

    Or for some darker themes:
    . How to heckle a perfectly reasonable talk on the 5 lettuces (let us)
    . Memes that mess with your liturgy – for example, ‘we say the prayer that Jesus Tortoise’
    . Where the Lords prayer comes from (highlighting the last few lines)
    . Why you shouldn’t euthanise the church cat (pets don’t go to heaven).
    . The elephant in the room (a treatise on why the piano is moving six inches a week across the church)
    . Song of songs – how to write boring books about how to uninterpret an erotic poem
    . All the single ladies
    . The pew of the Blue Rinsers
    . Hymns that are full of complete rubbish but have a good tune – Jerusalem
    . 999 or the last rites – a moral dilemma for a vicar comforting a wealthy but dying parishoner.
    . Cleansing the congregation – getting rid of timewasters
    . Dragging your church into the 20th Century
    . Raise your nose – how everyone else is unfortunately beneath you
    . Holiday club and other ways to reduce your childcare costs

    June 9th, 2011 at 9:14 pm