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December 5th, 2010

Money, cucumber etc

When you have too much to do and little or no chance of ever being able to do it I find that it is always go back to doing what you do best – ie posting a discarded shopping list.

shopping list

Today’s shopping list was found cast aside in the courgettes.

An older person I think. It shows that as a rule, the elderly start the day with porridge, then exist mainly on salad and tiramisu.

The again perhaps the top items suggests that this is not a shopping list, but rather a list of priorities.

Questions for study groups.
1. Don’t bother with the study today. Drink some tea and chat for a bit.

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12 Responses to “Money, cucumber etc”


  1. Jim Barker says:

    Waitrose today?

    December 5th, 2010 at 11:18 pm
  2. Scott Gunn says:

    I think it was a priority list. It has long been my belief that cucumbers make the world go ’round almost to the extent of money. To be fair, I had previously underestimated the importance of red peppers in world affairs.

    December 6th, 2010 at 12:18 am
  3. ari_1965 says:

    What’s porage? Is it in the borage family?

    Also, I’m bothered by the lack of a satisfying ending to the list. It starts out, rightly so, with a stop at the front of the store where the cash machine lives. There’s a law against fondling the cucumbers unless you’ve got the money to take them home. Then the writer picks up the various items for dinner. But there needs to be an ending. What about buying a newspaper? Dropping some item in the food shelf bin? Putting some change into the Salvation Army kettle? Buying a Christmas tree from the selection in the corner of the parking lot? Stopping for gas?

    This list is almost there. But then it proves to be a let down.

    I hate it when that happens.

    December 6th, 2010 at 6:45 am
  4. ari_1965 says:

    Also, cast aside in the courgettes sounds sadder than being thrown in with the zucchini.

    December 6th, 2010 at 6:47 am
  5. Rural Vicar James says:

    Whilst porage is an OK spelling for porridge, I am disappointed by the spelling of Pâté – where is the circumflex? Concentration must have lapsed as the end of the list approached…

    December 6th, 2010 at 9:31 am
  6. Russ says:

    Isn’t it the team-sheet for Chelsea Reserves? ‘Money’ at the top is for buying the additional four players required.

    December 6th, 2010 at 11:43 am
  7. Gregory says:

    The first item looks more than “honey” than “money” to me. Also number 5 could be “potage”. I think the person might be making a thick soup for this cold weather.

    December 6th, 2010 at 12:37 pm
  8. Margaret says:

    I’m puzzled by the very summery nature of the list apart from the porridge.

    Can you be sure it is not an old list which fell out of a pocket/umbrella/wallet?

    December 6th, 2010 at 1:01 pm
  9. Liz from the sewing room says:

    Rural Vicar James – perhaps the person is buying a bald head, the kind you put over hair to make you like bald, they may be going to a fancy dress party, or their church may be having a panto. (NEVER volunteer to make constumes for a panto)

    However, to me it looks like the sort of weird list a school student would give to their mother to get things for Home Economics. Apart from the tiramisu. Even in home ec you are unlikely to have to make vegatable and tiramusu compote.

    December 6th, 2010 at 1:34 pm
  10. Maddy says:

    I think it’s arranged in the order of the the aisles in the supermarket, memorized, so as to minimize the number of steps to complete the task.

    December 6th, 2010 at 2:26 pm
  11. chris clark says:

    Apparently it is Scots Porage Oats, Porage being coined for the very purpose. From this we can deduce that the person has money to spare as the own brand porridge oats are much cheaper and in my view just as good.

    The fact that it is Red Peppers suggests a preduce against yellow or green ones. Tiramasu is I believe Italian so we are looking for a rich bigotted Scotsman who is married to an Italian.

    December 6th, 2010 at 3:27 pm
  12. David Keen says:

    This is clearly the shopping list of an Australian thief:

    a) first item is to obtain money. No moral or ethical context is given to this item. We can therefore conclude that the writer themselves has no moral or ethical context. Therefore they’ll do anything to get hold of money. Therefore they are a thief.

    b) Most of the other items are for salad – only the porridge needs heating up (but see ‘c’), the rest can be eaten cold. Either this person has an extraordinary metabolism, or it is summer where they are. Therefore they are an Australian.

    c) ‘Porage’ may a brief meditation on the consequences of stealing money, before they resumed their list of foodstuffs.

    d) It has not been necessary to create any spurious links between Australian lineage and criminality during the course of this argument, but this could be done if it was necessary.

    e) None of the items have been ticked. It is therefore fair to assume that none of them were succesfully obtained: i.e. the attempt to steal money was unsuccesful, and the person dropped the list as they were being arrested.
    QED

    December 6th, 2010 at 5:47 pm