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July 18th, 2009

Any requests?

i cannot be

Top Episcopalian blogger Scott Gunn has noticed that I have not been drawing here much and has declared himself to be in a state of impaired blogmunion with me (See Denouncing Dave Walker), so I thought I’d post a cartoon. It is one I did months ago that has been sitting in a sizable ‘to scan’ pile by the way – it wasn’t inspired by Scott’s post. Please forgive the Shrigley-esque crossing out. Usually everything I do is heavily edited so that you can’t see all of the mistakes, but on this occasion I thought my misspelling of ‘genius’ added something.

Scott is absolutely right though – I’ve not been doing enough cartoons on this blog. There are various reasons for this, but I can’t really explain as these days I can’t really write what I’m actually thinking on the internet as it would probably make me look deeply unprofessional, and no-one wants that.

Anyway, summer is coming, which means that I have to get ahead of myself a bit on the cartoon front. Does anyone have any topics they’d like me to cover in my ‘Guide to the Church’ series over the next month or two? No promises that I’ll actually be able to do them, but I’ll try my best to draw some of the topics suggested.

33 Comments »



This is a single Cartoon Blog entry, posted by Dave on Saturday, July 18th, 2009 at 10:28 am.

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33 Responses to “Any requests?”


  1. David Keen says:

    I love the attempt to retain an aura of mystery….

    a few thoughts
    – What this summer’s festivals might look like after swine flu (3 people at New Wine etc.)
    – a group of schismatics visit The Acronym Store to find out what’s available
    – what do bishops do all day (follow on from the one you did on vicars)
    – concentration spans through the ages: from Calvin’s Institutes to Twitter.
    – parish life without computers
    – what visitors to church are really thinking at…. (baptisms, weddings, sung mass, badly sung Matt Redman style worship etc.)

    July 18th, 2009 at 11:04 am
  2. tortoise says:

    What clergy do on their day off.

    How to put together a riveting children’s address using only the items found in the office equipment cupboard.

    I daresay there’s always more that could be said/drawn on the subject of Risk Assessments, Health & Safety etc.

    Fresh Expressions of Church Bookstall.

    The Hassock: a History.

    The Church Away Day.

    July 18th, 2009 at 11:13 am
  3. Chris Dodgy says:

    how about ‘People you wouldn’t want on your Church Council…’

    I think Fresh Expressions of … could be developed very nicely, maybe to include things like: the greetings team, PCC, marmalade…

    And maybe ‘What I did on my holidays’ by ‘the Vicar’ (or maybe Farmer Wibblethorpe!)

    July 18th, 2009 at 11:25 am
  4. Farli says:

    Dave,

    Just thought I would say that last week’s cartoon on Ordination was spot on. I was still chuckling about it as I helped the local methodists move chairs in their church (mine have fixed pews so the opportunities for service as a deacon are limited).

    July 18th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
  5. Richard says:

    Picking up on one of David Keen’s ideas, how about “What the vicar is really thinking”?

    July 18th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
  6. Aaron says:

    Uses for a thurible when the congregation refuses to let the rector use incense?

    Clerical hats and what they say about the cleric wearing them?

    How to spot a potential warden? (or how to avoid being asked to be a warden)

    July 18th, 2009 at 1:48 pm
  7. Rosalind says:

    I hear the the C of E is planning a feature on “what makes a top marrying chuch?” I think there might be some possibilities there…

    July 18th, 2009 at 2:55 pm
  8. Scott Gunn says:

    You could also draw a bit less and just rename your blog: The Cartoon and Campervan Blog.

    Anyway, now that I have heard your response, we are considering lifting our declaration of impaired blogmunion on grounds of “potential to write actual thoughts on the Internet which will make you look deeply unprofessional but which will be deeply interesting to us.”

    Peace,
    Scott

    July 18th, 2009 at 3:30 pm
  9. Richard Huss says:

    Please draw a cartoon depicting a churchwarden carrying into the church all the things necessary to prepare for a service of Holy Communion. Paten, chalice and flagon; purificators and suchlike; collection baskets and a large alms dish; service books; hymn books; glass of water for the vicar; toy bags for the children; blank cassette for recording the sermon, to give to the sound desk operative; matches for lighting the candles.

    Richard (a recently appointed churchwarden)

    July 18th, 2009 at 7:03 pm
  10. Alison says:

    How about ‘what goes on during an interregnum’ – how worship might be led/continued etc, e.g. by visiting clergy, readers and others (I speak from personal experience); and following on from that something about the arrival of the new vicar and/or the departure of the old one. As a churchwarden I like Richard’s suggestion – ‘what does a warden do?’ might yield some fruitful ideas and there’s certainly plenty of scope!

    July 18th, 2009 at 8:17 pm
  11. David Keen says:

    Given that there seems to be an unofficial race on between this comments thread and Facebook for the most responses, you could post on the dilemmas of which online medium you use for which thoughts.

    July 18th, 2009 at 8:36 pm
  12. tortoise says:

    Robovicar.

    Checking the vicar’s expenses claim (ooh, topical).

    Species you *shouldn’t* bring to the Pets Service.

    July 18th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
  13. Brian says:

    Hmm … I have trouble being all the things I want myself to be

    July 18th, 2009 at 10:39 pm
  14. John Miers says:

    what’s happening behind the rerodos

    interesting shoes on the acolytes (”thye word is a light unto my feet”)

    2 different faces of the Altar Guild – young mothers, with children, and long-timers

    July 19th, 2009 at 11:37 am
  15. Russ says:

    1 Activities for the ambitious curate
    2 The hazards of Back to Church Sunday
    3 When children’s talks go wrong
    4 Radical church welcoming
    5 Communion in a swine flu age: the alternatives

    Dave, your very existence is an encouragement. Chill.

    July 19th, 2009 at 5:45 pm
  16. Kath says:

    1 What the choir do, during the sermon
    2 How to attract new choir members
    3 What the organists do during the sermon
    4 The Choir Party, discuss…

    July 19th, 2009 at 7:20 pm
  17. James Clayton says:

    I thought looking deeply unprofessional was the point of web 2.0?

    July 20th, 2009 at 3:02 am
  18. Carrie Williams says:

    I happened to come across one of your cartoons @ teacherdudebbq.blogspot.com. It’s the one about the world on your shoulders and all the boxes. I was wondering if it would be humanly possible to get that cartoon with the word “books” instead of “boxes” so I can print it out for my 10th and 7th graders? Also I hope it is ok if I post a few of your cartoons on my facebook because they SO totally characterize my inattentive ADD I was rolling on the floor in laughter! I won’t do that without your approval first. My husband is Australian and I knew you must be NOT American when I read your cartoons! Thank you you have brightened up my morning and now I can go and face my dirty kitchen which I left after tearing out all the drawers and plastic containers to organise then got overwhelmed! Carrie Williams (mom of Dakota, Quinn & Leighton)

    July 20th, 2009 at 1:39 pm
  19. Rachel says:

    This cartoon is great for my daughter, except that her pencils are in a mess too.

    Cartoon suggestions:
    Stuff we have to collect for Holiday Club – endless Pringles Tubes and Coke bottles for craft projects.

    Design of tent suitable for Christian conferences, rather than “normal camping”.

    Producing a string of All Age services with a holiday theme, using a reduced cast of clergy, musicians and congregation wanting to be outdoors rather than in church.

    July 21st, 2009 at 7:01 pm
  20. Andy says:

    What happens when a church is hit by Swine Flu / the fear of Swine Flu?

    July 22nd, 2009 at 6:04 pm
  21. Phil H says:

    How Communion Wine Works

    Pimp My Vestry

    Filing systems for inner robe pockets

    “There’s something wrong with this microphone”
    “And also with you”

    July 22nd, 2009 at 6:08 pm
  22. karen says:

    -Ladies fellowship group meetings

    -awkward home visits by clergy

    -’growth action planning’

    July 22nd, 2009 at 8:56 pm
  23. karen says:

    OR: ladies fellowship group activities vs men’s fellowship group activities

    July 22nd, 2009 at 8:57 pm
  24. David Keen says:

    ‘Tough on swine flu, tough on the causes of swine flu’ (swine, Mexicans, communion wine, schoolchildren)

    July 23rd, 2009 at 8:24 am
  25. Richard Greatrex says:

    I guess David Keen has read the 9 pages the Diocese of Bath & Wells has just sent us about how we must cease and desist from using the chalice at Mass from now on due to swine flu.

    Now, there must be a cartoon in there, somewhere…

    July 23rd, 2009 at 10:24 pm
  26. David Coleman says:

    I don’t know if my ecumenical suggestion helped this week’s Church Times cartoon, for which, much thanks: Totally touchee – we have a few horror stories of the ‘giving everyone something to do’ variety as well.

    July 24th, 2009 at 8:04 pm
  27. Rosalind says:

    Not to mention creative ways of sharing the Peace to “protect from” potentially infectious contact…..

    July 26th, 2009 at 5:09 pm
  28. Richard Greatrex says:

    I can see that many churches might be bringing back the High Church customs of white gloves and buskins for the altar party.

    Now, who will make me an offer on 1000 disposable communion cups?

    July 27th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
  29. Cathy says:

    A friend who writes this blog posted this today, and something tells me you could illustrate it splendidly!

    From Giuseppe Baldeschi, Ceremonial of the Roman Rite (1895):

    The clergy should comport themselves in choir with silence, modesty, and recollection; abstaining from everything that would indicate frivolity or irreverence, such as reading letters, talking, giving snuff to each other, gazing about, sitting cross-legged, lolling in their seats and other acts of this nature.

    August 2nd, 2009 at 2:54 am
  30. Jon says:

    How about a cartoon about the people who sit at the back of the church doing the sound desk and how they take no part in the service but just sit sucking mints and moving faders up and down.

    August 2nd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
  31. Mark Bennet says:

    Hygiene down the centuries – from Moses onwards (the law against skin disease, mould and fungus – as I recall from my old NEB I was given when I was confirmed)

    Purification rites for the 21st Century Church (suggestions for the liturgical commission c16/17 had the rite after childbirth – churching of women – cleansing after sharing the peace?)

    August 2nd, 2009 at 6:53 pm
  32. David says:

    I just found your blog. I love how you keep in the mistakes (in the title) and here, with the top drawing.

    August 9th, 2009 at 9:56 am
  33. yoxx says:

    i like your sketches…

    September 11th, 2009 at 6:57 am