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This cartoon is taken from the Dave Walker Guide to the Church, published by Canterbury Press. It originally appeared in the Church Times.
This is a single Cartoon Blog entry, posted by Dave
on Tuesday, January 15th, 2008 at 11:51 pm.
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Mmm. I think pews should come with Emergency Cords as well.
Or buttons to send electirc shocks into the pulpit, or release a trapdoor if the speaker carries on too long, gets too charisamtic/liberal/conservative/catholic/revivalist/political/politically correct/other (please state)*
*delete as appropriate
I note that your current authority on Technorati is 777 which I think is as amusing as it is appropriate! I imagine you already knew but just in case you didn’t…
You may laugh, but this is actually not too dissimilar to a lectern at a crematorium. There’s buttons and switches for lights, curtains, music volume….
You forgot one thing…for some reason my predecessor installed a fire extinguisher in the pulpit.
Not sure why, but perhaps he was a fire and brimstone sort of preacher and wanted to have an out in case his preaching go to firey.
Ah, this is the cheap version without the automated heresy early warning alarm.
What great control you anglicans have! Out in the new church wilds all is controlled by the ‘PA’ or ‘AV’ person who at whim can create howling noises to drown what you were saying, put up extraneous choruses you didn’t ever plan to see again or run videos randomly on the screen behind you.
I’d add a reverb control too.
at the risk of being tasteless, this looks not entirely dissimilar to a real crematorium pulpit…
You also need a speaker phone. Then during church the priest can call someone who has not come to church and is sleeping in. It’s great fun and most amusing.
Very very nice cartoon. I would add a small television screen permanently tuned to the Weather Channel, with alerts for celestial thunderbolts.
He forgot the cell phone/pager jamming device.
