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November 13th, 2007

Theft of metals from churches

church roof

Thefts of precious metals from church roofs is on the increase in a huge way, according to this report from the BBC in the East of England and this suspiciously similar report from the BBC in the West Midlands. The reports talk about a new kind of water, ‘Smartwater‘, which can be made to rain on the heads of unsuspecting criminals or used to coat precious roof metals with DNA.

One presumes it does not wash off like normal water. I’m sure they’ve thought of that. It seems like a good idea. It probably wouldn’t hurt though to sprinkle on a bit of Holy Water whilst you’re doing it.

The Oxford Diocese website explains it a bit more here, and the Ecclesiastical Insurance have posters like the one over to the left there here.

We can all do our bit to help. I think, for instance, that it would be a good idea to set up a rota so that someone is watching every single church roof in the country (and indeed the world) continually from now on for ever. If anyone would like to take responsibility for organising this rota please say so in the comments. You can put me down for a ten minute stint on Thursday.

12 Comments »



This is a single Cartoon Blog entry, posted by Dave on Tuesday, November 13th, 2007 at 7:14 pm.

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12 Responses to “Theft of metals from churches”


  1. Bimble says:

    Surely you would only need to watch the roofs of churches that have lead/precious metals??

    November 13th, 2007 at 8:05 pm
  2. Dave says:

    True. But we could take out idiot thieves who have not done their homework by also watching the ones with no precious metallic roofwork. To my mind the less idiot non-homework-doing thieves there are roaming the streets the better.

    November 13th, 2007 at 8:11 pm
  3. Aaron Orear says:

    I’d love to see them trying to steal the pebbles off a flat roof…

    The problem in Canada, where lead roofs are not common, is more about thieves breaking into country churches and making off with the furnishings. (This is more of a problem in a country so big that a country church is really out in the country…way, way out there with miles and miles between it and anything else.) Altars and fonts and pews and chairs and whatnot regularly turn up in Toronto antique stores, where they’re sold to yuppies for that “authentic” feeling in their 4-month-old condo buildings.

    End rant.

    November 13th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
  4. Anne says:

    This has been an ongoing problem here, though churches don’t seem to be the only victims, and gilding or lead aren’t the only metals. Here it’s residences and businesses, and the would-be thieves are after the copper plumbing. It’s not unusual for a house being remodeled to be completely stripped of its internal plumbing. Occasionally a misguided thief decides to make a play for the copper electrical wiring–and comes to not a very good end. That happened in my city just a couple of weeks ago. Other popular targets are antique stained-glass door transoms (here the area above the door where the house number is posted is often stained glass) and Victorian millwork. Imagine waking up one morning to missing gingerbread.

    November 13th, 2007 at 10:10 pm
  5. Sarah B says:

    I wish it were so totally funny but at least one of our parishioners feels the need to keep watch at night – we’ve lost lead that will sell for about £400 but will cost about £8000 to replace.

    November 13th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
  6. Karin says:

    It’s not just church roofs, libraries can have lead stolen from their roofs, too.

    November 13th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
  7. John says:

    The school where I am a governor has suffered – but not our churches (yet).
    Most of the metal is sold abroad (to feed the furnaces of China etc), so couldn’t the government simply bann the export of scrap metal and so make it more or less worthless?

    November 14th, 2007 at 1:10 pm
  8. Thomas says:

    Why not direct the theives to a certain church in Poole and a certain church in Bradford. I gather neither of them is used anymore!

    November 14th, 2007 at 2:24 pm
  9. Mary says:

    What happens when they melt the lead down?

    November 14th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
  10. John says:

    Not metal-related, but maybe I saw this headline and thought it might be the answer for the Lambeth Conference:
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7094215.stm

    November 14th, 2007 at 10:03 pm
  11. truthsign says:

    My husband The Grouch is a plumber, and in addition to the regular break-ins and theft of tools from his van (which he can’t empty at night because there’s just too much in it), he has now suffered the indignity of having his pipe carrier smashed up and all his copper piping stolen. He’s not going to carry any from now on.

    November 14th, 2007 at 11:49 pm
  12. Arti says:

    Hmmm! We had thieves on our church roof stealing lead 5 times in August! They even nicked our wheelie bin to take the lead away in.. We’ve now improved our security with extra spikes, razor wire, anti-vandal paint and infra-red security beams ( set not to go off if it is only a passing cat or bird!)

    The repairs have been done with “artificial lead” which I believe has no scrap market value but is likely to only last 20 years before needing renewing, rahter than lead’s 70 years!

    Oh and now we chain the wheelie bins up too!

    November 16th, 2007 at 5:55 pm