Somebody needs to buy the SPCK chain of bookshops, and quickly.

This is from my friend Neil, who has just handed in his notice:

… Handed in my notice just in time, I have found out that our owners want to run each shop with just one person, and as they presented us with an unsignable (by which I mean only an idiot would sign it, not that it is printed on ink-proof paper) contract they will be lucky if they have enough staff left to run any shops at all. It has nearly been a month since we have been allowed to place a stock order and the shop is running out of stuff. In fact I predict that in a few months the shops won’t exist at all, hundreds of years of bookselling torn apart in one year, very sad.

Things really are that bad. I know some people reading are not affected by this and so don’t really care, but for those who have books / resources / newspapers and suchlike of interest to Anglicans and others it really is bad news.

Wesley Owen? Hymns Ancient and Modern? CPO? Premier? Anyone!

Posted by Dave at 12:30 am on September 30, 2007 and filed under Save the SPCK, Religion.

30 Comments

Jonny Baker writes about Facebook oppression.

Sorry there hasn’t been much on the blog this week. I’m going through a slight drawing crisis. I need to get back to the days when I just used to draw any old rubbish. It usually turns out better that way than when I become too painstaking in my pencilated* preplanning.

Today I am wavering between answering the 161 e-mails and sorting out the 2 large boxes of probably important (but we don’t really know) paperwork. I start on the one task and then attempt to fool myself into productive procrastination by embarking on the other task without myself noticing. It never works because I can always see through my own cunning plans.

Talking of changing the world, this song always gives me a sense of wellbeing. Warning: the sound is rubbish. The video is good, if repetitive.

Have a great weekend.

*Not a word.

Posted by Dave at 12:51 pm on September 28, 2007 and filed under Cartoons, Mundane, Utter nonsense.

3 Comments

Dear the BBC Weather Forecasters,

It would be really helpful if you could include a ‘washing forecast’ as part of your weather forecast updates.

I have devised a system that you could use to show us whether it is worth putting washing outside on the line to dry or not. First of all you will need to show us a map looking a bit like this:

The numbering system works as follows:

10 is a perfect washing day. Washing hung out on the line will be dry almost as soon as you put it out. It’s a good day to wash thick duvets and winter coats!

5 means that washing placed first thing outside will dry by the end of the day. There may be a little bit of mild dampness around the seams and pockets, but essentially it is a good day to do washing.

0 is the point at which washing will not really be any drier when you take it in than it was when you put it out. This could be because there is no sun or wind or because there are light showers. You could say that there is no point in putting your washing out when a ‘0′ is forecasted. Even a ‘2′ or a ‘3′ would make it worth putting the washing out for a bit, but not a ‘0′.

-5 is washing that gets a lot wetter when hung out because it has been raining. Better to put it over a radiator!

-10. A -10 scenario would be when there is so much rain that the washing is absolutely soaked through and dripping. Frankly, if your washing is outside in ‘-10′ conditions you might as well put it back into the machine and give it another spin.

I am aware that adding a washing forecast to the weather forecast will use precious weather forecast time. I therefore propose that the following items could be cut out:

1. Idle banter with the news presenter
2. News about forthcoming sports events. No-one watches the weather forecast hoping to hear about forthcoming sports events. In particular on the BBC London Weather we do not need to hear Peter Cockroft telling us from his rooftop position which football games we can hear on BBC London 94.9. It is not really of any interest to us.

Yours faithfully,

Dave Walker

Posted by Dave at 12:23 pm on September 26, 2007 and filed under In-depth analysis, Letters.

25 Comments

I have discovered that one of the people who was up against me in the Creative Blog Category in the Christian Blog Awards is an evangelist who navigates around Britain in a sailing boat, stopping here and there to evangelise riding a Sinclair A-bike whilst dressed as John Wesley.

You don’t believe me do you?

Here’s a snippet from his website:

I went for a coffee in the local Nero’s and met Grant who like many many other people was intrigued with my A-Bike, which following an explanation of its workings allowed me to continue our conversation with me sharing the gospel with him.

On my way back to see if my new friend had arrived at the meeting point I was astonished to be stopped by an elderly lady who must have been well into her 80’s who wanted to talk to me about my bike.

I would reiterate what I have said in an earlier newsletter that if you are at a loss on how to start conversations with people to share the good news about Jesus with them, then buy an A-Bike and you will have many such encounters each day. They can be obtained from www.a-bike.co.uk for £149.95.

The A-bike, in case you are wondering, is a folding bicycle. It is apparently great to carry but not so great to ride. If you want a space-age bike that is great to ride but not quite so great to fold then I’d recommend the Strida. Not that I’ve got one, but who knows, one day.

Anyway, enough about bicycles. John is the intrepid evangelist’s name. I wish him all the best on his mission.

Posted by Dave at 11:27 pm on September 24, 2007 and filed under Blogging, Cycling, Ecumenical matters, Religion.

10 Comments

We had a splendid time at the Christian Blog and Web Awards last night. The organisers really put on a fantastic event at St Stephen Wallbrook, and I was most impressed. The evening started with champagne and mingling, after which the Bishop of London gave a speech. Hopefully this and other elements of the evening will, before too long, be on the Premier website or on Premier TV, but they aren’t there at the time of writing. The meal was a tasty treat, and then came the awards. These, from memory, were the winners - there are a couple I will need to add:

Best Church Website: King’s Church Manchester
Best Worship Blog or Site: Worship Central
Best Young Christian Blog (for under 25s): Unfurling Flower, by Emily
Most Inspiring Leadership Blog: Unashamed Workman (Thanks to Krish for remembering this)
Most Successful Evangelistic Blog or Site: Rejesus
Best Christian Newcomer Blog: Krish Kandiah (His post about the awards)
Best Christian News and Reviews Site: Christian Today
Best Provision for Youth Blog or Website: Soul Survivor
Best Christian Social Action website: Stop the Traffik
Premier Radio & Premier Online People’s Choice: Mindandsoul.info
Best Creative Christian blog or website: Um… me.

In fact mine was the first award of the evening to be awarded, which was a bit nerve wracking. I gave a short garbled three sentence speech in which (in hindsight) I should have explained what my blog is about. But I did remember to thank my wife and you, the blog commenters, even if I did forget to thank God, Premier and the cats. So, thanks to everyone who has been involved. I received a splendid glass trophy and a present, which is a wireless rabbit. I will look forward to playing with that later.

Here is a picture of me leading everyone in prayer:

The photo was staged after the event as like a fool I checked my camera into the left luggage area before the evening began. I blinked as I always do these days when flash photographed.

I will link to official and other reports of the event as I discover them (see ‘Update’ below). I suspect most people who were there are still having a lie in.

Thanks again to Premier for organising the Awards - I hope they continue and flourish.

Update (Sunday):

• Russ has posted a report on Inspire.

Update (Monday):

• The official Christian Blog Awards site now has a rundown of the winners.
• The official photos are up too on Flickr
• Emily has posted about the awards on Unfurling Flower
• I enjoyed chatting to Simon Harvey of Oadby - his brief report is here.
• Comment from Unashamed Workman, who didn’t know he’d been entered.
• Report from Gavin White, one of the people behind the Kings Church Manchester site.

Update (Tuesday and onwards):

• Christian Today report
• Report by ‘My Own Thoughts‘

Posted by Dave at 1:34 pm on September 22, 2007 and filed under Church, Blogging, Current events, Religion.

48 Comments

Today I will be ironing my best shirt ready for the Christian Blog Awards, to be held this evening at St Stephen Walbrook, the ‘London Internet Church’.

The Awards haven’t received a huge amount of attention in the Christian blogging world this time around, but I for one think it is great that Premier are supporting bloggers in this way so hopefully the event will become more widely known. The ’self nomination’ aspect put some people off I know, so the humblest bloggers won’t be there. Perhaps that is something the organisers need to look at for another year, but you learn these things as you go along. I have found a couple of bloggers who have mentioned they are going: St Paul’s Church, Oadby, and Emily.

I am looking forward to it a lot, though with some mild trepidation. I will report back, perhaps with photographs and things.

Update: Greetings to anyone who might have arrived on this site as a result of the Awards, or as a result of anything else. I hope you enjoy looking around. If you’d like to see some of my church-related cartoons here is the place to do so. If you have more time than sense and would like to see all 1173 of my old blog posts click here.

If you’d like to subscribe (for free) to this blog click here (explanation of how it works), or to get daily e-mail updates put your e-mail address into the box on the right there.

Posted by Dave at 10:19 am on September 21, 2007 and filed under Cartoons, Religion.

3 Comments

This is the poster that you will see on UK railway stations inviting people to church this Christmas. It has been done by the Churches Advertising Network and includes the web address for secondlifechance.co.uk, which in fact is the Rejesus website heavily disguised with makeup and a false beard. Rejesus is the website about Jesus made by Simon and Bruce.

The seconfdlifechance.co.uk website will, as previously mentioned, have a link to a special area on ‘Second Life’, the 3d website for people who like that sort of thing. The link doesn’t seem to be live yet, but you can see what the Second Life bit will look like by perusing these pictures.

Update: The Times has a report on this today too. There’s a thing.

Posted by Dave at 8:48 am on September 21, 2007 and filed under Church, Religion.

6 Comments

We are currently in the evening class signing up season. Brochures are being thumbed, tutors are reading up on their subjects and people like me are telephoning the admissions hotline.

Last year if you remember I did two different oil painting classes. This year I have changed direction and have decided that I am going to not do something artistic but rather study a topic of general and sundry interest. So, I have chosen to go to a class about Psychology. I am hoping to learn about the secrets of good morale and also Wednesday evenings are convenient.

Is anyone else going to a course and learning about something about which they were hitherto ignorant? Is anyone tutoring and if so what on? Is anyone umming and/or arring about whether to do a course? If so step forward and we will persuade you.

Update: I spoke too soon:

Posted by Dave at 1:14 pm on September 19, 2007 and filed under Cartoons, Essex Life.

15 Comments

I have recently been working on the website for the Parish of Langdon Hills, Basildon, Essex. I’m just putting a post on here to let the search engines know about it. Regular readers: feel free to talk amongst yourselves or take an opportunity to visit the lavatories or the book stall.

If you’re looking for a Basildon Church or more specifically a Langdon Hills Church then this is the place to find information. There are specific pages on St Mary’s Church and St John’s Church. Brilliant!

There. That wasn’t so bad was it.

Posted by Dave at 10:45 am on September 18, 2007 and filed under Church, Essex Life, Religion.

7 Comments

Friday
I was suffering from mild failure.

Saturday
We went to see some people in a mobile home near Harwich. (A mobile home is, for the uninitiated, a small home that cannot be moved.) The sun shone and there was singing and plenty of tasty chicken.

Sunday
I continued to suffer from mild failure.

Monday
Internet problems. British Telecom broadband would not connect me. I had this message:

Basically, when you see that message you know you are doomed, but with the possibility of not being doomed.

I have always had problems with my connections. These days the only way to make my computer connect is to open the e-mail programme, close the e-mail programme, open the e-mail programme, close the e-mail programme and then open the e-mail programme a third time. It will usually always connect on the third go. I think it likes to know that you are serious about collecting e-mails and not just larking around. Likewise if you leave the computer unattended for an hour it goes into a state where it will connect to about a quarter of the internet but not the other three quarters. The connection obviously works, but it becomes suddenly very picky. Restarting the computer is the only option.

But then, as we all know, the default setting for a computer is to sort of work, but not quite properly. This morning I became so irate about the non-functioning of the computer that I clicked my SeaFrance retractable biro in and out repeatedly until it broke. What a waste. That had been the shopping list pen for weeks.

Today it is my aim to achieve mild success.

Posted by Dave at 12:40 pm on September 17, 2007 and filed under Mundane.

15 Comments

[The title is a Goon Show quote. Explanation at the end of the post]

I showed this cartoon when I did my live gig last week and as soon as I put it up it got an ‘Oooo’ from the audience. Now, I don’t get a lot of ‘Oooos’ normally, so I didn’t quite know what to make of it. It could mean that the cartoon is a bit sexist, it could mean that the 200 clergy had all had run-ins with ladies groups, or it could mean that the crowd were just hyped up and ready to go ‘Oooo’.

I have since been considering the ways in which churches sometimes hold activities that segregate people into their different sexes. Ladies luncheons, mens beer groups, ladies breakfasts, the ‘young chaps circle’, that sort of thing. I have to say I’m not a great fan of segregation by sex. I’d rather everyone just mingled in together.

I’m wondering whether it is more of an Evangelical thing to do, or whether churches of all kinds segregate people at various times. Certainly in my Evangelical upbringing we were partially segregated for Sunday school and youth groups.

It would be interesting to hear your experiences. Does your church run groups that are just for men or just for women? If so is it an evangelical church, or some other sort? Are you in favour of different groups for men and women, or are you, like me, a minglist (one who believes in mingling). Don’t just become a minglist on my account though, as my views are notoriously ill thought through.

[I’m not sure whether minglist should have an ‘e’ in it. Minglist. Mingleist. Hmmm.]

[As an unrelated aside, here is the Goon Show quote that I mentioned above.

Seagoon: … And now, segregate the sinful sexes-­

Sellers: Wait! How many sexes are there?

Seagoon: Two.

Sellers:It’s not enough I say, go out and order some more.

It is taken from Tales of Old Dartmoor.]

Posted by Dave at 11:59 pm on September 13, 2007 and filed under Cartoons, Church, In-depth analysis, Religion.

29 Comments

Booking is now open for those wishing to sell things to the Bishops at the Lambeth Conference. I imagine they are looking for stalls selling doves and cattle and there will probably be a few moneychangers booths. Information about booking a stand is here. If you’re interested be quick, as a quarter have gone and I suspect the rest will go within days.

When this popped up in the feed reader I got straight on the phone to them, as I do always like to run my own stall. It really is great fun. But having pondered and reflected I don’t think I can really afford the thousand pounds plus all the accommodation and hire of a private dressing room etc. You do get a lot more for your money than at the Christian Resources Exhibition (for instance), but even so I just don’t think that a lot of the Bishops are going to be interested in cartoons for their parish magazines.

The folks on Mad Priest’s blog have been having some fun working out what things would be “deemed to be not in keeping of the spirit of the conference”. Aren’t they naughty.

Posted by Dave at 6:44 pm on September 12, 2007 and filed under Church, Festivals and Exhibitions, Anglican goings-on, Religion.

4 Comments