I notice from today’s Church Times that the job of gatekeeper at Lambeth Palace is being advertised.

You will control access of personnel and vehicles entering and leaving Lambeth Palace’ playing a key role within the team responsible for the security and safety of the Palace. In addition, you will process telephone calls received outside office hours, as well as informing residents of the arrival of guests.

This is probably one of the most powerful jobs in the Anglican Communion as it would enable you to keep Bishops that you did not really like waiting for no reason as they are on their way in to meet the Archbishop, therefore ensuring that the Archbishop will not heed their requests gladly as his schedule has been disrupted. Also long distance phone calls from undesirable quarters could be ‘processed’ in such a way that the post it notes with the messages on could occasionally go missing etc.

Obviously this sort of thing is wrong and bad and the likes of you and I would not do it, but I am just pointing out the possibilities so that Lambeth Palace can take this into account when interviewing and ask probing questions about lost post-it notes and the like.

Questions for Study Groups

Read this Bible verse:

I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God
than dwell in the tents of the wicked.
(Psalm 84: 10)

1) What would be the advantages of the Lambeth Palace doorkeeper job over (say) a live-in vacancy in the tents of the wicked?
2) Are people with tents always wicked?
3) Is it right to sneak around the tents of the wicked during the night and remove a couple of tent pegs on your way to the lavatories?

Unrelated aside
This was my 1000th post. Full list.

Posted by Dave at 1:52 pm on April 20, 2007 and filed under Anglican goings-on, In-depth analysis.

10 Comments

The organisers of the ‘Word Alive’ Bible study holiday have decided to remove themselves from the ‘Spring Harvest’ Christian Butlins holiday because they do not like Steve Chalke. Instead they are setting up a new more Biblical Bible study holiday in Pwllheli and Steve Chalke will not be invited. Well, that is my amost certainly flawed understanding of the situation based on this statement from the UCCF on Adrian Warnock’s site:

“Steve Chalke has made his dislike of penal substitution very clear by likening God’s act of punishing Jesus in our place to a cosmic child abuser. In good conscience, we simply could not allow Steve to teach during the Word Alive week. We’re very sad that after 14 years of fruitful ministry, Spring Harvest has decided to end the Word Alive partnership because we feel unable to shift on this position.”

This all might seem terribly uninteresting to many readers, but I look back with fondness on my various trips to both Word Alive and Spring Harvest during my time as a human being. It is sad that they cannot get along. I would very gladly go back to Spring Harvest given the opportunity. Spring Harvest organisers (if you are reading) – if you would like me to come and talk about doing drawings or draw during the sermons I will do so. I am prepared to stay in a budget chalet, though those ones that look like log cabins look quite nice.

This is a picture I did back in 1997 whilst at Spring Harvest. Warning: by today’s standards it is not very funny, and it is not very good by any standards.

Links for those who want to read further:
Website for Spring Harvest
Website for Word Alive as it was
Website for the ‘New, more sound and biblical Word Alive’
Dave 42′s site, where I found out about this. He makes good points about why this is a sorry state of affairs.

Update: UCCF Statement
Further Update: Bishop Pete Broadbent has posted a response in the comments below.

Posted by Dave at 10:21 am on April 20, 2007 and filed under Ecumenical matters, Religion.

33 Comments

I have been overwhelmed by the immense level of interest shown in our new cats by those in certain sectors of the internet. People have been e-mailing in, and other people have been writing blog posts about them and everything.

Here are some more pictures:

The answer to a question that a lot of you have on your minds: Yes, we are thinking of home schooling them. Originally I had imagined we might get them up to A level General Studies sort of level, but I think to be honest they are more gifted at practical subjects rather than anything involving too much thought and analysis. Our first lessons have mainly involved a stick with a yellow and green bird on a piece of string.

Sorry not to give you any drawings or anything today. I was suffering from low morale, but am over it now and feel ready to take on the world.

Posted by Dave at 10:51 pm on April 19, 2007 and filed under Essex Life, Photographs.

11 Comments

[You can put this cartoon on your blog.]

Today I learned that an important work-related e-mail had not reached its recipient. Fortunately the person got in touch with me, but I suspect often they don’t and we all just assume that other people did not get around to replying and are a bit slack or rude or busy or hate us. Those of us who rely on the internet for business purposes lose money as a result.

According to a shocking statistic that I have just made up e-mail will be entirely useless in 5 to 7 years time as the systems will be so overrun with spam to as to be unworkable. It will all grind to a halt and there will be a small cloud of smoke, a medium-sized ‘pop!’ and that will be it.

In the meantime if you have not received a reply to an e-mail that you have sent me it is definitely because it has got lost in the internet. Unless you are one of the 113 people to whom I have not replied of course.

This cartoon is on We Blog Cartoons meaning you can reuse it for free on your blog.

Posted by Dave at 10:03 pm on April 18, 2007 and filed under Cartoons, New Weblogcartoons cartoons, Technical.

4 Comments

This cartoon is available for free re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.

Posted by Dave at 11:26 am on April 17, 2007 and filed under Cartoons, New Weblogcartoons cartoons, Technical.

4 Comments

These are our new cats.

They have been here two days and have brought much joy thus far, but cause me stress during the day as it is my responsibility to ensure that no-one is escaping or doing things that they should not do.

Above: Cat sitting in pepper plant pot (yes, these peppers, which still survive and produce continual peppers).

The cats are 6 months old and came from the Cats Protection people. They are called Matins (Mattie) and Evensong (Evie).

Posted by Dave at 10:35 am on April 17, 2007 and filed under Essex Life, Photographs, Sundry posts.

15 Comments

I enjoy looking out of the window whilst on the train and taking pictures of things that seem interesting to me. I can sit there for 5 hours or more with my camera poised, whilst my wife and all the other passengers occupy themselves with reading or puzzles or whatever they like to do.

The only problem is that my camera takes a photo about 2 seconds after you press the button, so I have a fine collection of things seen from the train 2 seconds after we passed something interesting.

Just occasionally it works quite well though, as in the case of these terraced houses seen near Durham on Saturday.

For every one of these I have 20 pictures with subjects such as ‘field obscured by telegraph pole’, ‘house with blurred railway trackside equipment’ or ‘trees accidentally photographed at speed’.

Anyway, we are back from being away and in Scotland. We had a lovely time and got to see lots of interesting things and people, mainly in Edinburgh, but also for one day in Glasgow where we went to see Jack the Lass and the Glasgow School of Art.

So, now I am back and will be doing drawings once I find my desk. I also have some extra duties to attend to, about which more later.

Questions for study groups
1) What have you seen out of the window on the train?
2) How does this tie in with all the verses in the Bible?

Posted by Dave at 9:22 am on April 16, 2007 and filed under Art, Mundane, Photographs, Religion.

17 Comments

[Cartoon by Dave Walker. Find more cartoons you can freely re-use on your blog at We Blog Cartoons.]

I finally finished the last of my drawing assignments at 1am this morning. It is time to escape from pens and computers and things for a while, so we are going off to see the world a bit. I will therefore not be writing on this weblog until the weekend.

Comments may not be moderated for some while, so if what you write does not appear that might be why. Or it could be that your keyboard is not plugged in.

Have a great week everyone. See you soon.

Posted by Dave at 6:21 am on April 9, 2007 and filed under CartoonChurch progress, Sundry posts.

2 Comments

Happy Easter everyone!

Posted by Dave at 7:44 am on April 8, 2007 and filed under Cartoons, Religion, Spirituality.

15 Comments

Image from the Cookham Stations of the Cross 2004.

Apologies for my lack of being here during the week. We spent two nights away – one seeing family and another in Eastbourne. Eastbourne is a kind of a heaven on earth – it is full of lovely people and happy memories and the seaside.

Since then I have been working, and will continue working over the weekend until I get everything done. I have now sent off the major major thing that has been vexing me this past sixweek, so I now just have the minor and lesser vexations to overcome.

Next week we are away and also in Scotland.

Apologies to the 67 people awaiting e-mail replies.

Posted by Dave at 10:46 pm on April 6, 2007 and filed under Religion, Sundry posts.

1 Comment