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September 17th, 2006

Chutney panic

We have a huge number of jobs to do around the house. The whole place is a shambles.

So we have decided to spend the afternoon making chutney.

It is all a bit stressful though, as the similarity between us and people who know what they are doing is minimal. This is despite the fact that we have a recipe from my Mum for apple chutney and also despite the fact that my wife is a domestic goddess. Causes for concern:

If this recipe works I may post it on the internet (if my Mum agrees). We might auction a jar on eBay. If not this will probably be the last you hear about it. Unless I give it away in a competition.

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This is a single post on the Cartoon Blog by Dave posted on Sunday, September 17th, 2006 at 7:57 pm. Click here to read all of the latest posts. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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9 Responses to “Chutney panic”


  1. Sarah B says:

    I’m sure you’ll do fine. Phil G is probably the most expert in preserves that I know but I did ok my first time making chutney by following a recipe. Trust me it is worth it (even the “whole house smelling of chutney for three days” factor!) when you get yo enjoy it for yourselves and get that self-made feeling :o )

    September 17th, 2006 at 9:41 pm
  2. Liz says:

    Sounds very reminiscent of my jam making endeavours. My poor mother (source of recipe and party requiring copious amounts of jam product from her dutiful daughter now she’s no longer physically able to do cookery type activities) fielding repeated phone calls: “so when you say, put a bit on a cold plate and tip and see if it forms a skin…”.

    Of course, this being the 21st century, I then spent longer than the entire fruit picking, washing, jam making process combined, to produce pretty little drawings/labels on the computer to finish of the dozens of jars.

    My advice, make jam/chutney/whatever in copious amounts when you do, and that way you only have to do it every 5 years ;-)

    September 17th, 2006 at 9:51 pm
  3. James says:

    Don’t worry – make enough to give away as Christmas presents. The look on people’s faces when they find that their gift is Home Made Chutney is priceless. Oh and I have several jars of 5 year-old chutney (that I made) and it still tastes fine! Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall (of TV’s River Cottage)recommends leaving it for several years ‘to mature’…

    September 17th, 2006 at 11:34 pm
  4. Dave says:

    Thank you for these reassurances. It seemed to go ok in the end, although I think the substance that we eventually poured into the jars was far too much of a liquid rather than the usual chutney consistency. Perhaps it solidifies over time, but if not I think only about 37.5% of the jars will be any good.

    September 18th, 2006 at 8:13 am
  5. Lizzie says:

    Fantastic news about the chutney, Dave. Welcome to the world of the Domestic Goddess.

    It’s the church autumn fair soon and a friend and I have been up to our elbows in preserves for weeks now (we’re running the Jambusters Stall). Members of the congregation are gleefully handing over wheelbarrowfuls of fruit from their gardens, and I’m finding jam in places I didn’t know I had places.

    It’s the naming of the results that’s the best bit though. My personal faves – Stair Chutney (apples and pears) and Lonely Hearts Jam (pear and date).

    Hours of fun, I’m sure you’ll agree :o )

    237 jars and counting…

    September 18th, 2006 at 9:06 am
  6. Clare says:

    It is all a bit of a dark art isn’t it? I just made damson jam (because I’d randomly bought a small quantity of damsons at the farmers’ market and then realised I was about to go away for a week and I ought to do something with them).

    Anyway, having never made jam before and it being v late at night, I figured all I had to do was boil up the fruit with an equal weight of sugar until I got the skin on a frozen saucer thing going on. Only that didn’t happen and I was tired so I bunged the whole lot in a jar anyway (it was beginning to burn on the bottom of the plan) and, blow me, not only had the thing obviously reached its setting point (despite lack of wrinkly skin) it had gone so far beyond it that it’s rock solid.

    Tasty though.

    September 18th, 2006 at 11:00 am
  7. margaret says:

    If you give us the recipe I shall definitely try it. We’ve loads of windfalls this year and our church Autumn ‘Fayre’ just 3 weeks away.

    September 18th, 2006 at 6:53 pm
  8. canadian says:

    Clare, if you add pectin you will find that it will gel properly.

    September 18th, 2006 at 7:00 pm
  9. Clare says:

    Canadian – thanks for the advice, does that mean it will gel softly rather than the rock solid gelling that I got?

    September 19th, 2006 at 3:42 pm