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September 7th, 2006

Why the campervan must go

the camper van is too tall

This picture demonstrates why I am going to have to get rid of my campervan. When they built the houses in our road they did so with minimal parking at the front and access to the parking spaces behind via this little tunnel under an ornamental roof. Sadly the van is too high by a matter of six inches or so. I can’t park it on the road in the long run because the residents of the other road where I need to park hate me and my campervanning ways and write me notes saying that my sort is not welcome.

In case anyone here wants a campervan it is a 1987 Type 25/Type 3 VW Transporter, 1.6 turbo diesel. It sleeps 4 – 2 on the main fold down bed and 2 more in the high top roof. It has a sink (tap doesn’t work but I think that’s just a fuse) and 2 gas rings. It goes well and is very economical. It had a new MOT in July. The inside is very nicely fitted out with carpet on the ceilings and everything. The main thing wrong with it is the rust, which though cosmetic rather than structural is fairly significant. I’ll tidy it up before I sell it, but it will still decrease the value quite a bit. I don’t have a price yet, before you ask. On this page similar VWs are mostly going for £4500-6500, but the bodywork on mine will mean the bidding is likely to start at less than that.

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This is a single post on the Cartoon Blog by Dave posted on Thursday, September 7th, 2006 at 9:49 pm. Click here to read all of the latest posts. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

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18 Responses to “Why the campervan must go”


  1. Dave Warnock says:

    Dave,

    Have you thought of letting the air out of the tyres or getting smaller wheels. A set of wheels from a mini might look quite cool.

    September 7th, 2006 at 10:40 pm
  2. Kathryn says:

    oooh…it’s very very tempting…but I think a narrowboat still just about wins out.

    September 7th, 2006 at 10:45 pm
  3. moog says:

    I took a picture of dave’s van at GB and someone saw it and left a comment asking for it to be added to a pool of ‘european vans’, so it must be good!

    September 7th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
  4. moog says:

    someone saw it on flickr – doh

    September 7th, 2006 at 10:50 pm
  5. MadPriest says:

    I knew this would happen.

    I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN.

    Another good man’s done gone.

    I’ll send you a list of sensible hatchback stockists and you can get nice cardigans from B.H.S.

    September 7th, 2006 at 11:01 pm
  6. Bimble says:

    Why not just get it exchanged for a flat-top VW transporter?? We’ve got three of them on our driveway (the forth was sold a few months ago) and they are far better than the high tops. The roofs still go up when you want to camp and so you don’t lose the two berths “upstairs” so to speak.

    September 7th, 2006 at 11:54 pm
  7. Dave says:

    Dave – I have thought of everything. Essex-boy lowering is the most attractive option, but I asked an expert and he didn’t think it’d go low enough.

    Moog – good picture. It is a good looking van – from a distance.

    MadPriest. I look forward to hearing your solution to my dilemma. Otherwise, yes, it is sandals-tucked-into-my-slippers time for me.

    September 7th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
  8. Dave says:

    Bimble. Good thought. I wouldn’t say they are ‘better’ as the berths you get upstairs don’t compare to the berths upstairs in a high top – on the ones I’ve seen at least. And it is nice to be able to walk around in it without having to put the rood up and you get loads of extra storage space.

    However, for my purposes at the moment a pop-top would indeed be better. The problem is finding one for the same price as I’ll be able to get for mine.

    September 8th, 2006 at 12:00 am
  9. Larry Day says:

    as fitting low profile racing tyres is probably not a good idea, hire a miniature digger and lower the level of the drive by 8 inches or so…

    problem solved :-)

    September 8th, 2006 at 8:39 am
  10. ash says:

    oh look, everyone’s made the suggestions I was going to make… except maybe that you attack the ornamental roof with a sledge hammer?

    Also, if your neighbours are a problem, I know quite a lot of people with tents… shall we all come and form a wee shanty town around the Camper, then see whether they preferred life before we arrived? hehe…

    September 8th, 2006 at 9:30 am
  11. ash says:

    maybe there’s a cartoon in ‘ways to modify a camper van?’

    September 8th, 2006 at 9:30 am
  12. Rhys says:

    Dave, one of my contacts at my previous workplace was heavily involved in the (online and offline) VW campervan community. Let me know if you want any pointers.

    September 8th, 2006 at 9:49 am
  13. Sarah B says:

    I think the tunnelling plan sounds best to me. DO they still have that channel tunnel mole thing hanging about? You could tunnel UNDER the people complaining!

    One other option – call Pimp my ride!

    I wish I could buy it but you’ve caught me at the wrong post-matrimonial time for that :o (

    September 8th, 2006 at 9:50 am
  14. Mike says:

    I only have a few suggestions left:
    1. It might go through on its side? (at least it’s another to add to the comic).
    2. Are there any gardens with weak fences backing onto the carpark (ie alternate routes)?
    3. Maybe the bridge could be turned into some sort of draw bridge…?
    4. Have you tried going through /really slowly/? (I don’t think it’ll help, but it would be quite amusing).

    Regarding people who are annoyed with it; maybe disguise it as a 4×4 (put bigger wheels on it, and some bull bars)…

    If you still want to get rid of it, leave it parked somewhere in Coventry for a night.

    I should probably go do some work now.

    Hope these hints helped!

    September 8th, 2006 at 11:09 am
  15. Mike says:

    5. Have you tried praying /really/ hard?
    (I’m not a Christian, so I don’t know the details, but surely there’s some sort of divine intervention that could sort this out).
    On second thoughts, better not; there might be a massive flood that washes away the building… When you pray, don’t forget the small print.

    “Please make it so my van can get into the carpark
    In such a way that no persons or property are injured or damaged, the responsibility for any actions are yours, this agreement does not affect my statatory rights (re heaven-access). This prayer and its contents are intended for its recipient only. Terms and conditions apply.“

    September 8th, 2006 at 11:17 am
  16. Karin says:

    Start a campaign protesting against discrimination against high-top campervans and broke cartoonists! Insist the roof thingy is removed. Does it serve anything but a decorative purpose.

    I’ll happily put my name to the petition, I might manage to march down the relevant Essex High Street, or even Downing Street, if the date turns out to be convenient. ;)

    September 8th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
  17. MadPriest says:

    As a priest the best advice I can give you is -

    Leave the woman, dave, before it’s too late.

    Give her the house and you take to the open road in your trusty old camper, which will never let you down, unlike a woman who always will.

    And let’s face it. You’ve had the wedding. You’ve had the honeymoon. So what else is there to look forward to, anyway?

    Tell her you want her to go with you, and that you could be gypsies together. She will say no. She will, definitely, say no. Then you can blame her for the breakdown in the marriage and walk away guilt free.

    Whenever, I’m in a situation like yours, dave, I just ask myself “WWJD?” Invariably, I find he would do exactly what I have already decided to do.

    September 8th, 2006 at 3:24 pm
  18. Simo says:

    I was going to suggest the old mini digger trick myself but obviously was beaten too it (the trouble with not checking the blog all weekend!) another option could be I’ll borrow the campervan for a week, you can borrow my double decker and park that in the road, I reckon by the end of the week your neighbours will be begging you to bring the campervan back!

    September 11th, 2006 at 9:31 pm