For the CARTOON BLOG WEBLOG
In the Parish of THE INTERNET

Please use capital letters. Usually the blogger, minister and churchwardens should be the petitioners. Please indicate here which of the above should be regarded as the contact address.

Name: DAVID WALKER
Address: WWW.CARTOONCHURCH.COM/BLOG
Office held: BLOGGER

Petition as follows:

We seek a Faculty to authorise the following:

Please set out clearly in numbered paragraphs what you seek permission to do, using wording on the diocesan advisory committee certificate (if one has been obtained), and including the number and date on the architect’s or surveyor’s drawing[s] and specification[s] where relevant.

1 I WISH TO CHANGE THE IMAGE UP AT THE TOP OF THE BLOG – IN PARTICULAR THE CHURCH ON THE RIGHT HAND SIDE AS IT DOES NOT LOOK VERY GOOD

2 I WILL PUT ANOTHER DRAWING THERE BUT I DO NOT KNOW WHAT EXACTLY AS I HAVE NOT DRAWN IT YET

What is the approximate date of your blog or the part of the blog affected by the proposals?
1995

Is your blog a listed blog?
IT IS LISTED ON TECHNORATI AND VARIOUS SEARCH ENGINES AND SEVERAL BLOG ROLLS

Has the PCC prepared a Statement of Significance?
NO STATEMENTS OF SIGNIFICANCE HAVE EVER BEEN MADE ON THIS BLOG

Is the site of the blog, or any adjoining structure, wholly or partially scheduled as an ancient monument?
NO, ALTHOUGH WIBSITE.COM WHICH ADJOINS THIS SITE HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE 1999 WHICH IS QUITE OLD IN INTERNET TERMS

Is the whole or any part of the blog to be demolished? Yes / NO

If yes, please state how much is to be demolished (identifying a part or parts).
NO, AS I JUST SAID, NONE OF IT

The statements in this Petition and the answers to the questions above are true to the best of the knowledge and belief of each one of us.

Signed,

DAVID WALKER

Posted by Dave at 4:00 pm on November 24, 2005 and filed under Mundane, Sundry posts.

3 Comments

[Click on the cartoon for the full sized version]

I’ll post this one onto the main site for subscribers if I think anyone understands it in as much as there is anything to understand. I’ve had a sort of a crisis of confidence since drawing it and so I suspect people will look at it blankly.

You’ll notice I’ve drawn one or two motorways recently. It’s all deep and hidden symbolism, a bit like in the book of Revelation.

Posted by Dave at 11:28 pm on November 23, 2005 and filed under Cartoons, Church.

7 Comments

These are some of the ways that employees of the Metlife company (who have rights to use Snoopy in their materials) are not supposed to use images of Snoopy.

Of course the rest of us are not allowed to use a Snoopy image at all on the web. Those who do might well find themselves in reciept of a letter like this.

As a cartoonist I do guard my copyright fairly jealously, because if people start using my cartoons without paying then I have to eat half tins of baked beans rather than full ones. But perhaps these huge companies who are making millions from their cartoons could give people a bit more leeway and perhaps overlook the odd illegal use of their images.

What do you think?

Posted by Dave at 1:48 pm on November 23, 2005 and filed under Cartooning.

2 Comments

Hippy Shopper (which also talks about things like fairtrade clothes and organic beer) is reporting that a device has been invented to turn newspapers into plant pots.

More proof that you don’t have to be Charlie Dimmock to get your fingers muddy – a genius little widget that makes old newspapers into new plant pots. You wrap the paper around the post, push it into the base… et voila! One free seedling pot.

I am all for innovation, recycling and cutting global plant pot numbers by 12% by 2015, but surely the newspaper will go all soggy when you water the plant.

If anyone has tried pouring water into a newspaper cup and can report back as to the results I would be most interested to find out what happened. Who knows, perhaps we can cut china mug numbers by 12% as well using the same technology.

Posted by Dave at 12:27 pm on November 23, 2005 and filed under In-depth analysis.

5 Comments

Warning: this post contains the most deeply spiritual points I have made on this blog this week, or perhaps ever.

I’ve done a bit of wandering around the internet reading what bloggers are writing about Priest Idol. It is largely negative, which doesn’t really surprise me. Some samples:

Annie Porthouse:

Shame it puts christians in such a bad light. The american seems pretty clueless as to how to get people to church.

Simon Foulkes (Not to be confused with our Simo) :

Where is the carefully worked out mission plan, where the connections with the community, where the content of the gospel?

In particular the churches methods and the marketing strategy are drawing criticism.

The high church people don’t like it because ‘Church Lite’ hints at losing the mystery of worship.
The evangelicals don’t like it because they haven’t seen enough of the ‘content of the gospel’.
The emerging church people don’t like it because it doesn’t fit in with their incarnational missional paradigms.

But there again, God works in mysterious ways. In fact thinking through the Bible there are quite a number of times where God’s way of doing things is rather surprising and even shocking to the ‘orthodox’ religious people. The Messiah being born in a stable rather than a palace and dying on a cross rather than overthrowing the Romans, and the gospel being for the Gentiles as well as the Jews being examples that came to mind on the way back from the Harvester this evening.

I don’t know exactly what the profound point I’m making here is, apart from the fact that sometimes when something gets lots of Christians up in arms it makes me think that perhaps God has got something to do with it.

The other common thread in many of the various blog posts I’ve read seems to be that people (including me I must add) have also been quite down on the previous vicar, Father David. But like all these things there is another side to the story:

David Nicholson is a very dedicated, kind, spiritual and immensely hard-working priest. He had very successful ministries in Newport Docks and Abertillery, both parishes in places most people avoid, and was well liked and respected by the local community. Yes, he does wear his cassock and biretta at all times, but at least people know who the Vicar is, and that he is not ashamed or frightened of being the Vicar.

Who knows, perhaps an old fashioned vicar who doesn’t like change can still be doing the work of God in his own way.

Posted by Dave at 10:54 pm on November 22, 2005 and filed under Church, Current events.

1 Comment

I went to Moorlands college. Simo (the one with the double decker) has been remembering that he did too, as has Ian, though he only went there for lunch. I did a quick search around and could only find one current Moorlands student blog, that of Sarah D. Hello Sarah D.

It brings up mixed feelings looking back. I wasn’t entirely well for some of my time there and struggled with some aspects of college life, but I do look back at those two years with some fondness. I miss a lot of things – the friendships being the main one. It was where I started drawing cartoons and although most of what I did was rubbish people did seem to like them. I think though that the grass always looks greener in the rear view mirror.

If anyone from Moorlands (past or present) is reading do say hello in the comments. Are there any other Moorlands bloggers? Surely there must be.

Posted by Dave at 1:39 pm on November 22, 2005 and filed under Sundry posts.

12 Comments

Tonight was programme 2 of the 3 part ‘Priest Idol‘ series on Channel 4. As you’ll remember from last week’s post the programme is all about reviving a dying church in Yorkshire by means of a new priest, a marketing company and… oh this and that, I forget. Just to say too, while I think of it, Richard is posting about Priest Idol too – he’s also written a piece on Spero news entitled ‘Priest Idol is hip, but will it bring in flock?‘

Tonight’s programme started with some fairly low key strategies which sadly didn’t seem to achieve a great deal – namely the blessing of people’s houses and a churchyard cleanup day. But unfortunately the truth remains that the only times people really seem to come to the church are for baptisms, weddings and funerals.

The marketing guys come a Sunday morning service and decide it isn’t very interesting. They go to a local ‘cafe church’ setup which is more lively and does seem to ‘connect’ better with the people.

The archdeacon decides a new set of vestments might be the answer.

Eventually the marketing company reveal their strategy. The ‘brand’ which will be used for the church in Lundwood is ‘Church Lite’. Slogans include “Church Lite – its better for you” and “Half the preaching of other leading churches”.

But not everyone is in favour. When ex-vicar of Lundwood Father David finds out he’s less than keen:

I think its inappropriate, really.

The real battle at this stage though seems to be the PCC. The ‘Church Lite’ brand doesn’t go down too well, and some of the PCC members don’t like the new ideas for a meditation space at the back of church.

We use that table for tea on a Sunday.

But eventually it is decided that they will go with the marketing strategy with a grand launch. But will anyone turn up? Find out next week.

I should really be writing for ‘TV Quick’ or someone.

So, what did everyone else who was able to see it think? If you’ve written about it in your blog do leave a link in the comments, though be aware that all comments containing links have to wait to be moderated.

Posted by Dave at 8:45 pm on November 21, 2005 and filed under Church.

12 Comments

David Austin, the Guardian cartoonist, has died aged 70.

He came into the main building in Farringon Road, Clerkenwell, each afternoon at 4pm, read through the letters to be published the next morning, began identifying his possible themes, and went to the editorial conference at 5pm. Then he scowled, stuck in his ear plugs – defiantly not an office-dweller, he did not like noise – scrawled sketches across complete pages of his notebook, and produced a set of nine little boxes containing drafts of his ideas. The duty editor chose one, the letters editor another, and David polished off the finished product. By 6.30, he was gone.

Obituary in the Guardian
My lasting images of Austin, a cartoonist and friend, by Steve Bell (Also ‘Liberal Democrats’ cartoon).
Andrew Brown (including ‘Flying Bishops’ cartoon).
Guardian leader Monday November 21, 2005

Posted by Dave at 5:46 pm on November 21, 2005 and filed under Cartooning.

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Ruth Gledhill interviewed Gene Robinson, presumably when he came to the UK a few weeks ago.

I haven’t interviewed Gene Robinson, though he did very kindly allow me to print his comments about my Windsor Report cartoon series. I still very much appreciate the fact that he thought fit to e-mail me out of the blue like that.

Update:
On a related note. I’ve been communicating with Ruth Gledhill about the cartoon I did. She seems not to be too offended:

Meanwhile, Dave Walker’s depicted my job in cartoon terminology. Can’t fault it really, except I’ve never been able to throw a dart straight in my life

Posted by Dave at 9:08 am on November 21, 2005 and filed under Anglican goings-on, Cartooning, Church.

1 Comment

0900-1000 Planning the operation. Diagrams could be involved.
1000-1100 Find various scraping instuments from parts of the kitchen and toolbox.
1100-1120 Midmorning coffeebreak for all delegates.
1120-1200 Gouge the old sealant out of the gaps beween the bath and the tiles using scraping instruments.
1200-1300 Fill the bath up so that it is weighed down by the weight of water which is supposed to help things along (Yes, this might seem a long time to do this task but you have to do it slowly to avoid splashage).
1300-1400 Lunchbreak for all delegates. Bath edges will also dry during this time (See, I am not wasting time needlessly here).
1400-1500 Get various emergency bits of equipment together like newspaper and carrier bags and unblock the sealant tube with one of the scraping impliments even though it has not been opened so how it could be blocked heavens knows.
1500-1600 Put masking tape around the relevant areas of the bath. To mask it, sort of thing.
1600-1620 Afternoon teabreak for all delegates.
1620-1630 Faffling.
1631-1632 Squeezing out the sealant along the gaps.
1632-1634 Trying to run a kitchen spatula along the sealant to make it look like it is ok and not a botched job but trying to do it very quickly because the stuff dries in two minutes.
1634-1656 Trying to wash sealant off hands but largely failing as it is a nasty rubbery plasticy substance that is not intended to wash off things.
1656-1713 Opening some windows because the stuff really does smell quite strongly.
1713-1730 Looking at results and realising it looks like a bit of a botched job but it is not our fault because you have to do all of the important bit in two minutes which makes it very difficult really.

[Note: This entry is all theoretical. It does not bear any relation to any actual events.]

Posted by Dave at 10:34 pm on November 20, 2005 and filed under Essex Life, In-depth analysis, Mundane.

3 Comments

Archbishop Rowan has a second life as a bluegrass guitarist, reports the Ship of Fools.

Update: this feature has been taken down because Jim Muller objected. Obviously I wouldn’t be as naughty as to post another photo, but Google image search looking out for a bearded man with a guitar might help you.

Posted by Dave at 9:30 pm on November 20, 2005 and filed under Church.

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I like Olivier Kugler‘s illustrations. You may have seen them in the Guardian recently, where he often has a full double page.

Posted by Dave at 9:17 pm on November 20, 2005 and filed under Art, Cartooning.

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