This cartoon was my Christmas Church Times one from last year and is called The Nativity play – if you click that link you’ll find a higher resolution version and all the small print that goes with it. Please not that it originally appeared on a half page in the newspaper so it won’t work if you try and print it out on the back of a post-it note*.

You’ll notice that neither of these posts have been calendar competitions. I think that the calendar competition will be next week now, but it will happen.

*Can you print on the back of a post it note? I suspect not as the mildly adhesive bit would interfere with the workings of the rollers in your printer. Don’t try it!

Posted by Dave at 4:55 pm on December 3, 2009 and filed under Cartoons, New CartoonChurch cartoons.

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Hello. The first of two cartoons I’ve just posted in the new cartoons section of CartoonChurch.com. This is Nine lessons learned at the carol service, which originally appeared in the Church Times last December or so. A higher resolution version that you can read is available on that page. If you’d like to publish it there are instructions on buying a licence to do so.

I’m aware that this comes too late for people wanting cartoons for their parish magazines etc. I’m sorry about that. I admit to being a shambles.

Posted by Dave at 4:47 pm on December 3, 2009 and filed under Cartoons, New CartoonChurch cartoons.

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Questions have been raised about my appearance on Simon’s Dark Side of the Moon Chaplaincy blog.

Also has anyone ever actually met Dave Walker, in his photos he looks tall and thin…is he? There is a reason for my asking.

I have been trying to work out what these reasons might be. Either the chaplaincy students are planning to knit me a jumper, or the Diocese of Winchester are seeking information about me for a soon-to-be-released photo fit ‘wanted’ poster after my Church Times Blog posts (1,2,3) about the fact they are ceasing to fund Simon’s post. This will mean that unless other initiatives are taken (which they are being) Southampton University will more or less the only university in the UK to be un-pastorally*-cared-for by the Anglicans. Read the whole saga on Simon’s blog and if you want to support his cause join the Facebook group from where news is being posted.

Back to what I look like: So far responses on Simon’s blog suggest that I am “grey-looking and two-dimensional” or, by the Mad Priest: “Dave Walker looks like a geek from a Hollywood teen movie.”

In order to lay these allegations to rest I submit a recent self portrait that proves I am indeed tall and thin:

Whilst I’m here: Thanks for not giving up on this blog. I haven’t been writing it for several reasons. Partly because I’m currently in a continual state of being behind schedule with my diagrams and I’m convinced that the people to whom I owe the work will be continually scanning the internet to see that I’m not frittering my time away. My time therefore needs to be frittered away in other less public ways. There are other reasons too. But I need to remind myself that i do actually quite enjoy writing here, so I will endeavour to post a bit more, starting, I think, with a calendar giveaway in the next day or two.

*Probably not a valid phrase

Posted by Dave at 3:26 pm on December 2, 2009 and filed under Anglican bloggers, Anglican goings-on, Blogging, Cartoons, Church Times blog.

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I’m pleased to be able to announce that a new cartoon series, ‘The Dave Walker Guide to Youth Work’ will be appearing every month in Youthwork Magazine, starting with the January issue, available in December. I’m very excited about this, not last because it is only the second publication that my work is appearing in on a regular ‘every single issue’ kind of basis.

People who notice these sorts of things might notice that I’ve recently done a few cartoons for Youthwork the Conference and also some (about this time last year) for the National Charter for Youthworkers (example above). The series will be a bit like my ‘Guide to the Church’ ones, except about youth work, hence the name.

With this in mind I am desperately in need of cartoon ideas. I will therefore being going to Youthwork the Conference in the fair town of Eastbourne the weekend after next, (I’ll be there Saturday 21st / Sunday 22nd November), to loiter and hopefully talk to some youth workers to find out what they do these days. If you are going to the conference I will buy you a coffee or a small fruit juice if you will talk to me about such things. And indeed, it would be great to meet anyone else who is there, cartoon ideas or not. If you’re going do get in touch.

Just for information: I’m not stopping any of the things I currently do (except possibly being grumpy at cats who get in my way around the house and drivers who don’t indicate).

Posted by Dave at 4:27 pm on November 12, 2009 and filed under CartoonChurch progress, Cartooning, Cartoons.

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I’ve got all sort of exciting things to post here before too long, but I thought I’d get back into the way of things by borrowing an idea from a talk I attended by the Illustrationist David Shrigley, that of posting shopping lists found lying around in and around the supermarket.

I thought it might be interesting to discuss and analyse this first list, found at about 7.30pm today in the car park of Tesco, Langdon Hills, Essex.

I am particularly interested to know what SK is, and what the lacquer was for, and whether ‘tenna’ was a cashback reminder.

If this goes well I will encourage the further posting of found shopping lists.

Posted by Dave at 11:31 pm on November 3, 2009 and filed under shopping lists.

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I’ve done some cartoons for Youthwork the Conference in order to attract people to their event which is coming up in November. Here is a sample which makes no sense out of context – the links to the full cartoons are below.

1. Things that you can do at Youthwork the Conference

2. How to go to Youthwork the Conference

If you know anyone who does youthwork then you could tell them about this conference. It is in Eastbourne which is quite idyllic in its own way.

Posted by Dave at 6:57 pm on October 6, 2009 and filed under Cartoons.

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We have one or more squirrels in the roof. I hear it, or them, pacing inside the soffits. There is no way to tell how many squirrels there are, because in the time it takes to move the stepladder to the loft hatch, work out how to open the step ladder, work out how to open the loft hatch, find someone to hold the ladder steady and pop ones head up into the loft space the squirrel(s) have long since gone or hidden. For the purposes of this essay I shall assume one squirrel.

Possible ways to get rid of a squirrel in the roof:

1. Scare it away with flashing bicycle lights and the Divine Comedy pumped in at medium volume (no particular reason for it being the Divine Comedy except that I’ve never heard of a squirrel liking the Divine Comedy). Problem: The neighbours might be disturbed.

2) Find the hole where it is getting in, and block it. Issues: (a) I have been watching for a while and I have not seen any holes (2) The hole could belong to a neighbour’s house. We are not detached and I believe our soffets and lofts are linked by a hidden maze of squirrel tunnels.

3) Send up the cats. Difficulty: Our cats would be more trouble in the roof than our squirrel.

4) Borrow a squirrel cage, trap the squirrel and release it inside the M25 (we are outside the M25).

5) Call someone who knows about these sorts of things.

6) Write about it on my internet web blog and hope that my readers include a fully licenced diocesan squirrel catcher.

Questions for Lent groups:
i) Tell the group about a time you had a squirrel in your roof.
ii) List some of the spiritual ’squirrels’ you have faced and how you overcame them.

Posted by Dave at 9:45 pm on September 29, 2009 and filed under Essex Life, Household hints, My problems.

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A post outlining my hopes for this blog, going forward.

I have encountered some difficulties recently, so it has been quite quiet here. I’m sorry about that. I hope to do rather more posting here though as I do rather enjoy writing this blog. I also plan to put up a whole load of new downloadable cartoon material on the site for subscribers as there hasn’t been any for a while. I might also scan some diagrams from the ‘to scan’ pile.

Thanks for your patience anyway. Feel free to repost this cartoon elsewhere.

Posted by Dave at 12:06 pm on September 25, 2009 and filed under CartoonChurch progress, Cartoons.

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Uninteresting technical note: I’m currently upgrading my websites, so please excuse things occasionally not working overnight and on Monday morning.

If anyone needs urgent cartoon assistance please contact me via info -at- cartoonchurch.com.

Posted by Dave at 9:51 pm on September 6, 2009 and filed under Technical.

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We had a kettle – it dribbled water.

It seemed hazardous to keep dribbling water, what with the electrics and kettle water being boiling, so we got a new kettle that did not dribble water.

Now the new kettle dribbles water too.

Do all kettles dribble water? I have set up a poll on the left to see whether it is only our kettles, or whether everyones’ kettles dribble water.

Yes, I have descaled.

Posted by Dave at 9:49 pm on August 19, 2009 and filed under In-depth analysis.

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A huge thank-you to the people who have suggested ideas over the last couple of weeks. You might have noticed one or two from the lists appearing and there are more on the way.

If anyone has any inside insights into the following topics then any contributions would be welcomed:

1. Unusual or interesting arrangements for covering services over the summer holidays
2. Things that happen in the vestry in the final moments before the service starts
3. The Anglican selection process. In the past someone has given me information about this, but I can’t remember where or when. It would be useful to know the different steps one has to go through in order to be ordained. Any online resources that explain it clearly welcomed.

[Note: Am away during the day today - will moderate comments in the evening]

Posted by Dave at 9:49 am on August 9, 2009 and filed under Ideas appeal.

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You can always tell a rubbish photographer by the fact that the shadow of their head appears in the lower half of the photograph.

This inspirational picture shows an innovative moneymaking initiative by Torbay Council, who have realised that you can hire out uncanvased deckchairs for 90p per half day. Many tourists are content to bring their own canvas, saving themselves some money and meaning that everyone gets to have a deckchair fabric pattern they are comfortable with.

Tourists who do not bore easily are allowed to sit in the same deckchair for up to a week. The charge for this is £4.90. Wisely the council have kept this weekly charge below the ever-important £5 barrier. No-one in their right mind pays over £5 to sit in the same old deckchair for seven consecutive days.

A drain is provided next to each deckchair for safe disposal of teapot dregs. The hexagonal paving is of no particular relevance.

Posted by Dave at 11:36 pm on August 7, 2009 and filed under Holiday photographs, In-depth analysis, Photographs.

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